Blog Bliss

Endurance

2012-02-15T16:03:00.000+08:00

What a test.. O lord.. :(

racletting again!

2012-01-07T21:47:00.000+08:00

and it was soo fulfilling. had a new year dinner with my close pals last night at chez moi and it was awesome. we have chefs amongst us who can cook better than the masterchef participants ( exaggerate giler) . anyway, got the opportunity to eat raclette again ( thanks to izy who bought the cheese) last night and encore, this evening with husband.

this year's resolution :

1. MRCPCh part 1

2. NEW home (hopefully)

3. Wish to start a business ( yo yo je haha)

4. New work place? in or out? hmm:)

5. Better Servant to Allah, better wife to husband, better mom to son, better me for family, better doctor, better friend.

Insyaallah. how about you?

Kota SAS

2011-12-09T17:18:00.000+08:00

just now, went to kota sas to claim my deposit cheque. took the opportunity to visit our house. c'est finir. dah siap:) . jalan je tak tar lagi. went inside.feel a bit small compared to masa survey rumah contoh kosong dulu. but whatever it is. sunlight exposure is good.x gelap la walaupun rumah intermediate . backyard pun agak spacious. boleh la buat small garden nnt hihi.

x sabar plak nk masuk n decorate rumah. harap ada duit di masa akan datang.
Ya Allah. murahkan lah rezeki kami. amin.

rumah contoh.bkn rumah koi.gambar pinjam from internet.

2011-11-28T10:36:00.000+08:00

gambar hiasan

it's been a while since i last wrote . i guess today i want to discuss about work. again. can you believe my odd , getting THREE MAS* with PPHN** in THREE consecutive oncalls! i just shook my head in disbelief. may be God wants me to learn tip top in managing pphn. one survived one died and one is still battling. May Allah save this one too...

if you think about it, labour is a very risky phase in pregnancy.It can be tragic. some children grow well in utero with no complication at all, ready to get out of the womb. but, because of complications such as prolonged 2nd phase due to various reasons, commonly poor maternal effort in pushing, or cord prolapse, or sudden placental abruption, they end up with severe asphyxia , with sequalae or even death. the same goes to those baby who passed meconium ( poo) in utero (which happened alot) . at the very moment they are about to come out, a few number of them swallowed and aspirated the meconium into their lungs, causing blockage in gas exchange therefore compromised breathing.
i can't help feeling sorry for the parents. they surely have imagined a better , more cheerful life with a new member in their little family, but end up in sorrow and grief because of one unfortunate event during labour. it would be different if things have already been anticipated long before labour. atleast they are mentally ready..

alas, this is life. i'm glad i could be at the other end. trying to save these babies. most of the time it was not apreciated at all, which is fine as we do get the satisfaction solely by resucitating and managing them without their parents thanking. it just that sometimes these people went overboard by complaining of petty things added with false statements that makes me think, your child was almost dead and he survived well after much effort to revive him from going 6 feet under and you are still complaining?? ungrateful cows you are.

* meconium aspiration syndrome
** persistent pulmonary hypertension of newborn

Heaven waits

2011-10-12T20:39:00.000+08:00

I remember the faces and names of all the blessed children that passed away while under my care. I kissed everyone of them. The latest was today. God loves you. I love you too.

The prime lecture

2011-09-25T04:36:00.001+08:00

Had a nice chat with my big boss yesterday morning, about so many things. Mainly of my future plans. The conclusion by the end of the day was to be in this field required one to be an independent, strong willed superwoman. I love what I am doing at the moment. Big chance Id persue neonatalogist as sub specialty. Long time down the line there is. Who knows I d choose a different path. Not yet at the crossroad. Inshallah will write More properly later. Haven't logged in for quite a while. Am on call currently. Waken up by a phone call for resuscitation of a non vigorous baby. Primary apnea perhaps. Was fine by 1 minute. But now I can't sleep!-

we are 3

2011-07-25T22:56:00.000+08:00

in 20 minutes we'll be celebrating our third anniversary. only that we are currently 120 km apart :( but am positive still ! hoping for a lovely hubby-wifey anni-dinner tomorrow night! can't wait!! ;-) BONNE ANNIVERSAIRE husband. we have been married for 3 years! 3 wonderful years with one adorable son:) more to come inshaallah. may we live happilly ever after in health, in wealth, in peace , in love :)

un macaron presque parfait

2011-07-09T21:22:00.000+08:00

mesdames et messieurs, voila! my first baked macaron. this was my 2nd try. the first attempt was last year which eventually turned into a cake. tastewise, the almond flavour were too strong, would prefer it to be more chocolate-ish. next holiday nak cuba lagik.

oh, walaupun agak x berpuas hati dgn macaron ini, tp rase bersemangat balik bila hubby ckp sedap . hohoho

les macarons de france

2011-07-08T11:49:00.000+08:00

hari ini bercita2 nak baking. lbih bersemangat lpas tgk MC aussie london edition!:D bonne chance a moi!

777

2011-07-08T03:47:00.000+08:00

today marks the 4th year of our engagement anniversary. Up and down together, only to nurture a more solid relationship day by day. thank you for being the loving husband and father as you are now ;X;X

bored

2011-06-17T23:28:00.000+08:00

i feel like watching a french film. but I have none downloaded at the moment.

i don't like oncall during weekend. sigh :(

The day Red Rose met Snow White

2011-05-17T12:16:00.000+08:00

Princess Rouge Babylone and Princess Blanc Banquise

opening the coupe

Went for a car detailing service yesterday and (for a second time) I saw a Bianca White 308 coupe cabriolet! this time in a much closer range, in fact I got to touch it! hahaha jakun jap:D

Royal Weekend

2011-05-01T14:21:00.000+08:00

Congratulation Prince William. The wedding was epical. ternganga tengok :D

Amis

2011-04-22T20:57:00.000+08:00

I thought losing a friendship was quite manageable. well it is manageable. but I cannot forever hold back this one big inner thought that is screaming to know the reason WHY?

By the way, Happy birthaday Aja ! My April born colleague ;-) No, my friendship with Aja is still steel-hard intact :D

harris et maher zain 2.0

2011-04-02T08:32:00.000+08:00

coming to term

2011-03-30T15:04:00.001+08:00

I don't know about you, but I only began to feel like a full grown adult after I started buying properties. I still felt young when i first get married, feeling a bit more mature after I found out I was pregnant, motherly after Harris was born, but still more or less clinging to parents / other family members. but now, as we began to deal with those people like sales advisers, corporate lawyers, bankers and stuff - on our own... , I can't help but feeling.. nervous, whenever I have time to think deeply about it. I am becoming the adult that I previously, only observed. Now , I am one of them.

I really really hope both me and husband could be great parents to Harris ( and hopefully his later siblings ).

no turning back. we are adults now.

gwyneth go gleek

2011-03-11T17:12:00.001+08:00

you know I was no longer liking glee due to overstrecthed gay and jew highlights.. but then they invited gwyneth to their show.. i love this version so much. u hit it right gwyn!

to be and to live

2011-03-11T14:45:00.000+08:00

Salut a tout!

liking my new banner? hehe. I like it ofcourse. kind of bored with the old one.

Old

nouvelle!

liverpool. they have reboost my liking for them for the following reasons :

new coach
entertaining and superb performance by the newbies - louis suarez and andy caroll
they beat Chelsea and Torres on his debut game for chelsea and against former club:D
They BEAT Man U with a hatrick! :D:D
The have replaced Carlsberg with Standard Chartered!! :D:D:D

boleh la beli kan harris official jersey.

Breastfeeding.

My body is very textbook physiological speaking. at least for pre and post delivery changes. textbook says contraception via exclusive breastfeeding is only effective up to 6 months, and true enough, my ovulation cycle restarted at 6 months post delivery- the last being when I conceived Harris of course. kinda miss the menstruation free days.
Alhamdulillah, up to now Harris has never had to taste any formula milk , even after weaning.
talk about food , menu du jour for harris would be... Apple puree with milked mashed potato!

bonded love

2011-03-09T12:44:00.000+08:00

lately harris is soo 'manja' with me. there are times when he would only be queitened by me. not that i'm complaining, i'm touched in a way to see that he has bonded well with me, but considering the nature of my job, we cannot afford such circumstance. while locuming last night, my hubby had to bring him to the clinic as he was inconsolable. and by the time he came, i had like half a dozen of patients waiting for me. poor my little child.

patient : anak dokter ke nangis kat luar tu? siannye

me: err...

Dinner at my place!

2011-03-04T14:35:00.002+08:00

I hosted an 'end of posting' dinner on the 2nd March 2011 at chez moi. it was awesome.
My leave started on that day, therefore i began the morning quite late, geting cozy with harris in bed till 9 am hehe. by 10 o'clock, I went to the market with grand-mere, buying quite a lot of stuffs. damn, the 2 kg meat loaf costs me a whopping 46 ringgit! i never knew it was that expensive ! ( as i never bother to do grocery-shopping at wet market for the last two years :D ), so along with that, we bought 6 whole chickens, vegies and spices. by 12.30 pm, we started cooking. the menus and work assignments are as follows :

grandmother recipe of buttered rice - obviously by my grandma
chicken with red chile sauce ( ayam masak merah la tu) - by grandma and maid
paprik-style vegies - by maid
vanilla muffin - by auntie
cottage pie - by me!!
chicken and beef satay - ordered from pak cik din :)

the rice was delicious!the cottage pie as expected, was way below par compared to the rice tastefulness quality but edible anyway haha.

My cottage pie was next to the muffin, not within the captured scene ;)

Many of my close friends came and was so touched as some of them came from as far as chini, lipis and sungai tekam for the sake of honouring my invitation! one very good pal even swapped on-call that day so he could join us. two surgeons - whom i lookep up to very dearly- were also among the attendees eventhough they had to go through pouring rain to get here. no words can describe how thankful and touched I am.

Harris was the centre of attention that night. everybody was taking turn holding him:D when Harris was held by one of surgeons, I ( automatically) whispered to myself : May you be a succesful surgeon like him one day, my child =)

for my surgical colleagues, thank you for making me feel very welcomed while I was there. I truly enjoyed working as part of the team. We have a great set of comitted surgeons, dedicated MOs and (some) reliable housemen :) I don't mind prolonging my stay there actually, but need to move on with what I decided to pursue.Inshallah the friendship would remain :)

* now trying to picture Harris as a surgeon .. hmmmm :D

brand new year

2011-02-26T12:40:00.001+08:00

life feels a bit brand new these days. i guess i would just keep it to myself as for the reason why.

My placement has been confirmed. Behold! I am entering Paediatric department by March 7, 2011 as a full fledged medical officer :) I received my full registration and APC as early as when I first joined surgical team actually but still need to complete my last posting as a house officer. anyway I did ( n still do) a medical officer job and calls there all the same.

May Allah guide my every decision and would not left me deserted.

time to read again!(after a long long time).

now.. when will i get my UD44 pay? huhuhu.

in limbo

2011-02-17T23:12:00.000+08:00

I'm in a dilemma.
Do I really want to join the Paed team? I don't know. A lot of things have been circling in my mind lately.
one thing I'm sure of, I'm more of a medically-orientated person rather than surgical. For instance, when I attended to a case with multiple morbidities, I tend to highlight more on the patient's medical maladies rather than his/her clear cut and simple surgical problem.
I loved paediatric. or so I thought when I was there. but now, after being blessed with my own child, I have new issue to deal with. Maternal instinct. I don't know if I can bear poking babies 10 to 20 times for lines, wether I can bear watching them succumb to their illnesses, hearing them cries with no mothers by their side to calm them, to not feed them orally for days or weeks or even months.. they are so fragile and weak.. yet they have to endure all the sufferings that they themselves are too young to understand.

these are not acts of cruelty. in fact, what we are doing - i dare say- is very nobel. The only problem is, I have to see them suffer in order to see them get better ( if the ever do). I'm feeling so miserable just because of this uncertainty. God help me.

Another dilemma is.. my husband feels it is time for me to apply for transfer, so that we can live together. I am looking forward to it.The buts are :

who is going to look after Harris. yes we have maid. but at present time, we enjoy the privillege of having my grandparents' supervision - who actually take care of our son more than the maid does. I'm yet to trust her handling Harris alone. probably a cctv would solve this problem.:D
Paed department of that particular hospital has always been 'credited' as the most horrible department to be at. it s gonna be like walking myself into a lions' den in a zoo full of reptiles.
I am not ruling out Health Clinic. It would be a bonus to me and my family in term of quality time. and I can study for MRCPch. however, there would be no more oncall claim then,of which at the moment contributing quite a significant amount to my monthly income.

God help me.

it's been almost 8 years since I began to share love and feelings with my then boyfriend-turn- husband. quite a journey really. it's been both a rollercoaster ride and a really slow it's-a-small-world ride for us. despite the seemingly endless rants and bickerings over the tiniest of things, we always end up having each other's back at the end of the day. we sulk during the day , by night time we cuddled and make fun of each other's childish act. it sort of gets less and less romantic over time as we have truly known each other in and out of every titbit. but it does bring our relationship to a greater level of trust and love. He completes me and I hope, I him. Thank you Allah for blessing me with such a loving and loyal husband with whom I share a very lovely son ( and more to come!) . I love my two boys.

2011-02-12T00:02:00.000+08:00

Ya Allah, guide us towards Your path.

Give me strength to get through this..

May the brighter days await.

roarrrr

2011-02-08T21:22:00.001+08:00

lalalala..

The Domino effect

2011-02-01T23:07:00.000+08:00

I am astonished. the abrupt onset of people's revolution in Middle east has both amazed and scared me. amazed to see that they finally find the courage to act against dictators ( and also by the dictators' ridiculous, stubborn and desperate acts in order to cling to a thread of power), but scared by the burgeoning number of people who perceive this as an oppurtunity to break laws and to act inhumane.

I just hope they would restabilise their countries very quickly before those zionists and their allies intervene and ruin yet another historically majestic countries as the did in Iraq.

By the way, to learn that the very incident that triggered all these happened in a place that i have been to ( sidi bousaid ) is quite .. eerie.

May Allah be with us..

u shall-see

2011-02-01T19:49:00.000+08:00


taken from soccernet

Wrong move nando, very very wrong. ....!!!!

My personal experience

2011-01-22T09:26:00.000+08:00

Breastfeeding benefit from my personal experience :

a huge contributing factor for a healthy and chubby baby I am granted with currently.
even though my baby was born with a low birth weight, his weight pick up exponentially after birth, surpassing many of his baby collesague, even those who have already aged 8 - 9 months.
mommy lose weight incredibly too! no jamu, not much exercise but may be hectic oncalls are to blame too. i weigh lighter than my pre-pregancy days :D
the physiological changes I endured during pregnancy have gradually dissapearing.e.g. hyperpigmentation is getting much lighter just as before :) it has gone back to normal now. luckilly no stretch marks.
satisfied feeling seeing bottles of breastmilk filling in the top compartment of the freezer :)
money saving! no need to buy those expensive powdered formula milk.
effective contraception. baby is 5 months old and Im still menstruation free. expected to last up to 6 months. we'll see ;-)

I hope I could continue to breastfeed Harris for 2 years. Btw, Harris got his 5 month old jab yesterday and he did not even cringe let alone cry when poked! kuat anak mama nyh ;p


Harris milkstock. Used to be more.. but because of frequent busy calls, it has depleted :(

weekend is here but no, i haven't weaned him :p

Should I , Should I not.

2011-01-19T21:24:00.000+08:00

Should I wean Harris to Solid now? He's only five months old yea but he seems ready and he weighs incredibly too. I think he has probably weighed about 8 kilos by now ( wanna bet?- am going to the KK for 5 month old appointment next week inshaallah.)
furthermore his milkstock is ain't that much now =( going to be oncall tomorrow, hopefully the milk can last till evening next day. sigh.
Bought Harris a bottle and food warmer via online. loving it, though my granny said it is a just a waste of money as she doesn't favour it that much ;p
may be, just may be, I'll feed Harris with mashed milked potato next week. ha! =D

the once in a blue moon chef

2010-12-21T19:54:00.001+08:00

lately i have been following the masterchef series quite frequently. in consequence , prompted me to sort of make a dish yesterday evening. something which can be considered 'extraordinaire' in my daily routine. sorry hunny, for the cooking mode came while you were out station ;p

i wanted to make something that involved white sauce in the menu. something simple. therefore i chose to make a creamed potato and corn dish. it was a bit experimental as this was my first time trying to make white sauce form scratch and well ,, it works! the sauce tasted better than the canned one. hmm now that i have my own signature recepi for a white sauce.. lasagna would be next!

why oh why..

2010-12-16T19:06:00.001+08:00

i don't understand why this toad-faced umbridge look-alike is getting all these titles when it is an unspoken but publicly known and accepted fact that she is the LEAST likable lady in malaysia.

tak paham betul aku.

Little France

2010-12-15T22:38:00.000+08:00

we brought Harris to Colmar Tropicale, ~~Alsace,France~~ Bukit Tinggi Last tuesday. (Public hols honouring first of Muharram - new year in Islamic calendar).

This is Harris' second time in Bukit Tinggi. the first being while he was still our in-utero child :p Harris as usual showed no signs of enthusiasm about the place unlike his parents. La belle indifference! :p and coincidentally we met our friend and his family who also studied in Nancy last time. Of all places!

Ginger houses

I miss France. huhu.

post call

2010-12-06T17:11:00.001+08:00

survived my first oncall after a loong break. let's see my list of admission and referral. started off as early as 900 am and went on until 3.00 am before i can finally dozed off. i don't have too many admissions but the referral were mostly critical and major cases. 1 dissecting aneurysm of abdominal aorta, 3 upper GI bleed, 3 intracranial bleed and the rest were minor cases. three deaths out of the total of 14 referrals. 1 died in district hospital ( i was waiting for the case since 11 am and only found out by 1 am the next morning that the patient had passed away), 1 died in casualty and one in the ward. what a day ( and night!) right?

jonas brothers sungguh.

was so eager to go back to meet my little Harris the next morning.

surgical palpitation!

2010-11-30T19:12:00.000+08:00

i will be doing my first oncall in Surgery this friday. MO call. scary! luckilly i'm gonna be oncall with a 'benign' specialist huhu. i am aiming for a very least number of admissions and in house patients, please and please be stable!

hubby will be out stationed to singapore at that time. Harris will be left parents-less for a night :( not liking it :(

UNICEF - Raise Your Hands, Stop Child Abuse

2010-11-27T10:21:00.001+08:00

UNICEF - Raise Your Hands, Stop Child Abuse

This is ma main. get your hand done too ;)

Beau reve

2010-11-27T09:08:00.001+08:00

Harris' daydream. inspiredby Mila's :D
the giraffe costume was a present from my Jordanian cousin who bought it in Aqabah. it's very cute! even have a strap tail at the back (which can be detached).
my chubby little Harris.
he has started mouthing!

day 1 of life

2010-11-22T23:51:00.000+08:00

today i started working again. Alhamdulillah, everything went well. Managed to pump out 3 bottles today. was aiming for four but had no time.

missed Harris so much while at work! both me and hubby kept on calling home to check on Harris. adoih anak, sayangnya same kamu.

The other side of me

2010-11-14T09:25:00.001+08:00

Praises be to Allah. Cheri, petit cheri, and I have safely arrived after spending 2 memorable weeks at my other hometown - Irbid. . extremely joyous and lovely rencontre with my paternal side of family.

Dubai is like WOWW! really really Big WOW!

will blog about these two later.

weddings and the mommy thingy

2010-10-23T22:06:00.000+08:00

went to two weddings today: Zaty's and Rokiah's. I departed from Kuantan at 0940, left Harris and the maid at chez grand-mere and set my journey alone. The two brides looked very radiant and lovely. didn't get to meet too many schoolmates though.. anyway, since I was Harris-free for a solid 7 hours, i have to endure the extremely uncomfortable feeling of milk engorgement.
aduih.. i definitely have to excuse myself for milk pumping every 3 hours once i restarted working otherwise I don't think I can work peacefully :D

We will be travelling to Jordan next week. Me, hubby and little Harris :) please pray for our safety ( and comfort) through out the long voyage, especially for my petit angel. budak comel itu sangat la mengasyikkan.huhu.

harris et maher zain

2010-10-16T10:36:00.004+08:00

everytime i play maher zain's tracks, Harris will lie down quietly and will look around, lost in his own world.

Harris aime maher zain? there you go mr. zain , your youngest fan :D

love this version of inshaallah. merci pour votre musique ya maher.

one step closer

2010-10-10T01:17:00.000+08:00

My leave extension has been granted.
therefore one of my ambitions might become true very soon.
step 1 : buy Harris a stroller - done that today;-)

ambitious

2010-10-07T18:48:00.000+08:00

there 's alot of things i want to start doing. Major things. I have the desire, but I don't know How and where to channel the impulse.
God. Help.

improvised look

2010-10-05T19:08:00.000+08:00

farewell old blog bliss . hello a new one:)

The arrival

2010-09-04T17:09:00.003+08:00

ENFIN !! Our petit angel is here!!

Our baby was born on August 21st 2010 ( 21 / 08 / 2010 ) at 37 week and 6 days of POA. everything seems to happen timely. mama planned to start taking pre delivery leave on saturday, and there you were ! showing the sign of getting out from my womb as early as 630 a.m in the morning of saturday 21st.

I was about to perform my subuh prayer when i felt something dribbling down my legs. initially i thought it was the incontinence which i sometimes experienced when i cough or sneeze ( or any manouvre that increases intra abdominal pressure in that matter ). however, this one came unprovoked. I hesitated and sat for a while. it had gone. I then continued with my prayer. halfway performing it, the dribbling became more prominent.. it was more like streaming then. My prayer was halted. There and then I was pretty sure it was not urine. It was something else coming from a different tunnel. My heart skipped a beat or two. ' is it gonna be today?' 'for real?' and i kept asking myself the same thing over and over.
mama told papa of what happened. there were both happy and nervous expression on his face ( so did mine). we already pre planned to travel back to kuantan that morning as papa was supposed to work and my leave began that day. i did not feel any contraction pain nor having show at that moment, therefore we were not rushing and took our sweet time to prepare for the voyage to the hospital:)

we arrived at the Kuantan Specialist Hospital around 1015 am ( after stopping by wan and aki's house to pick up some essentials) and checked in. The liquor kept on gushing out that the back of my cloth was quite significantly soaked. mama was initially placed in 4-beds- room. it was ok but not condusive enough. lack of privacy i guess. The nurses were nice. as i lay on the bed, the midwife nurse began to set up the CTG probe on my belly. well, my dear boy your CTG was reactive :)

Dr suraya came to check on you and mama around 1215 pm ( as she had an OT case to run earlier). She's a very lovely consultant specialist. She advised me to have Prostin inserted (a per vaginal medication to induce labour) as i still did not feel any contraction pain even after 6 hours plus post leaking liquor. i reluctantly agreed as i knew she was right but also had heard the less favourable story about prostin induction ( especially about its hyperstimulated pain ).

I was right too. mama began to have a moderate contraction straight away right after 5 minutes or so post prostin. my cervical opening was only 1 cm prior to the prostaglandin insertion. After 1 hour, the pain was becoming more and more frequent and stronger. i was no longer able to smile or laugh at papa's jokes. Dr Suraya came to my bed again. my os was on ly 2 cm at that time. she then prescribed me with intramuscular pethidine to ease the pain. the drug did make me sedated but failed to do its main job : pain relief. i suffered for another hour or so with contractions frequency of every 15 seconds!!

i could not take it much longer ( with os that small n pain like you are almost ready to push!) hence requested for epidural analgesia. they then pushed me to labour room for the procedure. i was lucky to be pain-free while on the wheelchair. however the ultimate pain came while i was about to underwent the procedure. i couldn't describe how excruciating it was. the midwife checked my os once again before the procedure. it was 3 cm but cervix was already effaced, she said. my epidural was administered by Dr Nordin, an anaesthesiologist. i was crying, citing 'Allah' ' lailahaillallah' and the syahadah. i didnt know what else to do. Papa was there all the while from the beginning, holding me, massaging, kissing my forehead and stuff. He too was worried and sad, seeing his wife in agony.. the pain was soo strong that i bearly felt the epidural needle being poked at my back, luckilly i did not move. Dr Nordin gave mama a bolus spinal analgesia as well for immediate pain relief ( as epidural's will take 5 to 10 minutes to work). My whole body felt numb for a while after the drug was introduced. i was almost immediately pain free after the procedure. Then Dr Suraya did a VE on me once again. i couldn't believe her when she said my cervix had already fully dilated! what?? 3cm to 10 in 10 minutes????? - Yes it was a superfast precipitated labour..

they then hurriedly prepared me for second stage labour and arranged my legs in lithotomy position. because of the newly introduced spinal analgesia, i barely felt like bearing down. however the midwife was monitoring my contraction hence helping me to know when to push. the second stage was very brief, with papa, dr suraya and the midwife encouraging me rather ..casually i'd say ( as i was no longer in severe pain :D ) . Being a doctor was a plus at that time i guess. though i didn't really have the bearing down feeling, but i technically know the correct way to 'push' and it did help!! Papa got to see your temporal head for a while( and he was really amazed it seemed) before your head crowned. I initially refused for episiotomy ( KSH still applies the 'rule' - epi for all primid) but after contemplating about my baby well being ( estimated weight of 2.8 Kg , no continuous ctg monitoring at that time, prostin induced + precipitated labour which were all prone to cause fetal distress) I finally agreed. Dr Suraya performed the episiotomy when your head was crowning. and in a matter of seconds, you were already on top of me my dear.. no longer inside.

I was speechless and mesmerized. hearing your first cry and saw you moving your limbs actively gave me a relief : i knew straight away my baby had a very good APGAR score ( indeed it was excellent. your APGAR was 9 at 1 minute and 10 at 10 minutes!) . they put a linen separating you from my belly which i slowly removed so that your skin would touch mine. it was so surreal. both papa and mama were in awe. we are finally.. parents - To a lovely baby boy.

The bonding time was very brief. they then brought you to an open care to put you under warmer ( as well as to have you cleaned). papa went to see you and had you 'azan-ed' while the doctor and nurses were nursing me. I can't help smiling, feeling fully tranquil. i have delivered our very own child...

After half an hour or so, the nurse returned you to us. you are soooo cute and adorable and tiny. you weighed 2.41 Kg, with length 43 cm and head circumference of 31 cm. your sugar level was 3.4 mMol/L according to the glucometre. Dr Siti was your attending consultant paediatrician. the first thing papa told me after he saw you was ' comel nye baby, mata die kelabu'. indeed you are very cute and your eyes are beautiful as well as the whole of you.

by 530 pm. we are transferred to a single room which was waaay better than the previous one. you were visited by many of our loved ones that night. wan and aki, nenek and tok, your great-uncles and great-aunties. everyone was in a very cheery mood just because of you :)

i think i have written long enough. there were still alot of things to tell you. but i will do so in future entries.

we named you, our petit ange : Harris - a protector, the guardian of heaven :)

ALL ABOUT OUR BABY

2010-08-16T20:43:00.003+08:00

i am currently at 37 week 2 day of period of amenorrheoa. my early scan at 11th week correlated nicely with my estimated due date. for the past 9 months my pregnancy-hood can be considered uneventful except for mild anemia ( whereby Haemoglobin level dropped to 10.2 currently from the baseline of 13) . I am considered risk-free from developing gestational diabetes melitus both interm of history and clinical ( thank God) but i still decided to have a go for Modified Oral Glucose Tolerance Test at 32 week POA JUST because I am more than 25 years old. Apparently it was supposed to be in the new GDM guideline, however since the screening was not cost effective, the ministry decided to scrap it off. My blood pressure maintains at 110 mmHg systolic/ 70 mmHg diastolic throughout.

I have completed my anti tetanus toxoid jabs in time and my infectious screening are negative. I felt the quickening as early as 17 weeks of POA, and the fetal kicks increase over time both in term of frequency and intensity. My husband and I can even recognise the fetal parts when the baby kicks prominently as I entered the late trimester :)

At one ocassion, as I went for my routine ultrasonography at 35 week 1 day POA, my baby's parametres were found to be quite significantly smaller than the expected range but growing still. Therefore I have to repeat scan ( done 3 days ago) to rule out the diagnosis of Small for Gestational Age. Glory be to God, it has been ruled out after the subsequent scan:) That was not the only matter that troubled me at that point of time. I also noticed he was kicking less actively than usual within about 15-20 hours, thus prompted me to have a Cardiotocography done, just to make sure the baby was ok. Baby is indeed in good condition. the CTG was reactive with sufficient accelerations and excellent baseline variability. yeay! and yes, the baby then started kicking and coiling around like no body business right after the CTG completed!

As for now, being a 37 weeker, I wait patiently and anticipatingly for the arrival of my baby. My first child . My fundus currently sizing about 36 weeks ( can still put my two knuckles in between the xiphoid sternum and the fundus) - in keeping with my pregnancy age;-) my baby is obviously a singleton, longitudinally lied, with cephalic presentation and head has alredy engaged by 2/5th below the pubic symphysis:)

baby dear, we are ready to have you in our lives :) muahx

2nd annivesary

2010-08-02T15:48:00.003+08:00

26th of July 2008 : 20.09H

We were solemnised as husband and wife at this date and time. can't believe it has been two years since then. I still remember every bit of it and never tend to forget the historical moment. we upgraded our love to another level... and now after two years, we are about to reach another milestone - parenthood.

Happy 2nd annivesary husband. this (currently in-utero) child is our marriage's greatest gift :)

WC 2010

2010-07-13T08:47:00.004+08:00

i think it would be almost sinful if i didn't blog anything about the world cup 2010. as far as this blog is concern, it is compulsory!

I am, in general, entertained by the world cup tournament. congratulation Sepp Blatter. From the (selected) matches to their coverage of south africa's cities and even the world cup theme song! ;-)
the opening goal by the south african chap was fantastic ( eventhough they eventually lost the match). I was by default rooting for France to win the World cup , ignoring my already-there instinct that they wouldn't make it far considering their sloppy World Cup qualifying campaign. the french fiasco sort made it worst. they deserved to be at the bottom of the group. the only bright thing was they finally able to get rid of Domenech.

I am never a fan of Brazil and Argentina therefore couldn't be more excited to see them trashed out by their exuberant opponents. Brazil has always been too.. religious, to the point that i became nauseated seeing their post-scoring dramas. that was not the only issue i have against them but it was quite a significant one for sure, hehe. As for Argentina, Maradona has been more entertaining to watch than Messi who was basically outshone by every other Argentinian players. But it is quite a norm in a tournament such as this, where by the expected star players failed to perform up to our expectation and ended up in a disgraceful end. Rooney, Kaka, that-S.O.B - Ronaldo joined the wagon too :P Torres and Van Persie were a bit lucky as they still could progress to the finale as a team, even though they were just as dim-lit as the previously mentioned.

perhaps, the team ( and coach) that enlightened the 2010 WC the most was Germany. Their games were extremely energetic and delightful. They shone as a team rather than as individual. almost all of them played the part. Good Job Joachim Loew. BTW, i like his sense of fashion and style. Too bad they had to face Spain in the semi. i was hoping that particular match to be a final instead.

Finally, the final showdown - Espana vs Nederland . An ill tempered and foul-filled match ( mainly produced by the Dutch). Spain in a way managed to play it cool though i have to admit they were silently provocative as well. They displayed a beautiful passing game and in the end, i think they are the deserved winner. It was a dramatic ending and very much entertaining still despite the lack of goals. I'm glad Arjen Robben got the yellow card for his relentless complaint ( really he pissed me ( and the referee) off . never like that guy. cheater).

Farewell Africa waka waka :-)

* i think my baby is bound to be a football fan as well. He would just be kicking my belly like nobody business while mommy watching and cheering matches:P

special entry

2010-05-26T22:15:00.003+08:00

" i luv u my fair n luvly wife "

not that he seldom tells it, but it has definitely lighten up my night.

in fact, over and over, everytime he utters such things.

je t'aime aussi mon mari cheri.

nite:)

Hi ho merry ho!

2010-05-05T20:52:00.003+08:00

what a waste not to blog all these while when too many good memories gone uncaptured in writings. a quick update then.

1. I am currently posted in paediatric department. Frenzily working with babies. they are cute but sometimes can be annoying when you have to stuggle like hell to set a line for them. but all in all, it is fun to work when little babies revolves around you. makes you want to have your own, really.

2. Early pregnancy days, i was always tired. Energy treshold was very low. not so much of mood swing, more of euphoric swings actually, which is good:) and oh, I did not vomit even once. what a good baby in here. thanks for not making mommy suffers:P but certain smell really exagerrated my olfactory nerve e.g some foul smelling diabetic foot. erghh. made me nauseated whole day, had to take maxolon to get rid of it! yes , I had cravings too.

3. booking done at eleventh week. I am embarrased to say that I am not compliant to supplements when that was what i preached to every pregger i attended. well, not when i have to endure constipation because of hematinics! so nowadays, i sort of play doctor a little bit ( am i not one?;p ) Every now and then, i will take a look at my palm. so far it is still fairly pink. and my Haemoglobin level is still static 2 months in a row. so i guess i dont need the hematinics... just yet.

4. April was my birth month. I received a pleasant surprise ( was it?:P ) birthday treat from my now-very-fatherly husband at the revolving restaurant on the top of KL tower:) it was quite an experience. loving both the sentiment and the place. Hubby bought me a stunning Fred Perry peep-toe flats to wrap up the day. so Gorgeous!!

5.our little angel has begun kicking as early as 17 weeks. quite early for a primigravida ( first pregnancy), and nowadays the intensity is even harder. hmm a footballer/football fan in the making?hehe. you can team up with me honey:) (since my hubby is hardly a football observer, let alone a fan:P )

6. My entire household ( except for me, hubby and latest my dad) are going to perform Umrah this June. my dad has to cancel his trip due to working commitment. i obviously can't go due to my growing tummy. feel a bit sad as we couldn't go together as a family.

7.booked our obstetrician yesterday. if God willing, i plan to deliver in KPJ hospital. really hope baby wouldnt come out too early so we can get there in time when in labour. otherwise i may have to deliver in my working hospital which would defy the purpose that makes me want to deliver in private centre in the first place. we'll see...

8.today is mother's day! planned to bake a cake for my mother.my mother has also pre-planned a family photoshoot later today (and a subsequent Hyatt dine-out) as today is among the very few days when all of our siblings are around. i have to call hubby's mom too to wish her so:)
Happy mother's day! - oh by the way, i tried to make macarons the other day but failed miserably so now im planning to reuse the stuff i bought and change them into a cake.it'd better work!

All that I am

2010-02-24T12:53:00.005+08:00

erm. I am very lazy to blog lately. which is a good thing i guess.

but since i have nothing better to do at the moment, perhaps i should crap a little.

Have you watched Glee? interesting. i love their third episode in particular. the single ladies dancings were HIGHlarious. love kurt hummel even though he's so gay. but i can't stand Lea Michell ( and her character). seriously Glee needs to replace her. she is one ugly and irritating narcicist. and yet she's the main actress! bleughhh.

must be the hormone loathing her.

Otherwise I am happy. I am fortunate. I am blessed. I am thankful. I am in love. I am complete.

I am Pregnant.

recepi of healthy lifestyle

2010-01-05T11:07:00.004+08:00

at around 10.45 today :

palpitation.silence.tinge of happiness.happiness.broad grin.hesitation.broad grin.questioning the reality.grin again.scary.palpitation.happiness.confusion.happy

that's the recepi of healthy lifestyle for today:)

i love all of you:):)

The P News

2010-01-04T21:18:00.005+08:00

One Hospital staff ( a cleaner to be exact) visited A&E clinic this morning accompanied by her mother. She is small sized, age 21, presented with vomiting for the past five days and lethargy. I was busy attending another patient when a medical assistant asked for my help to assess her hydration status. by checking her tongue and skin turgor, i concluded that she did not need to be intravenously hydrated.

Medical assistant : should I send a BUSE? (blood urea and serum electrolyte
- a biochemical investigation)

me : Sure. Do whatevs. (with the tone of one busy doctor. hohohoh)

then, 2 hours later, A staff nurse handed me the girl's card.With a result. which is not a buse result. But a urine pregnancy test. It was circled positive.

me : (gasp) I thought we only send A BUSE sample..

Staff nurse : I have a feeling it would turn out as it is now ( grinning)

then, we called the patient in :

Me : So You muntah2?

girl: yes. kenapa dgn saya doktor?

Me: You tinggal dgn siapa?

girl: dgn emak

Me : ada boyfriend? ( as i already know she's not married)

girl: sudah lama putus doktor

Me: ye ke? ujian air kencing you kate lain.

girl: kenapa doktor? ada kuman ka?

Me : ( dlm hati - tak, ada orang) . test yang kami buat ni menunjukkan awak mengandung.

girl : (dgn muka terkejut beruk) mana boleh doktor. Saya tadak Kawin lagi.

at this point, i feel like slapping her. this is the second time i received such exact response when told the P news. Will you people stop correlating pregnancy and marriage ? Not that I approve pre-marital sex but being unmarried does not biologically barricade you from making babies!

so, after prolonged interrogation, she finally admitted of having slept with the babydaddy last month, but only once ( yeah right:P)

after the consultation, the mother approached me.

girl's mother : Apa masalah anak saya doktor?

i looked at the girl and hesitated. she shooked her head behind her mom. I sighed.

Me : ada masalah dgn air kencing dia. lain2 you tanya dia sendiri ya.

i left. I hate to be in that situation. I must uphold to patient's confidentiality but at the same time I'm not supposed to lie. sometimes, it is best ( for my benefit) if the extramarital pregnancy involved underaged girls. I wouldn't have problem telling it straight to their mom :D . jahat kah? but then again.. they are even worse arent they???? ;-)

the transition

2009-12-23T21:51:00.004+08:00

happy new year /end of the year everyone.

Life has been fantastic for me these days.
i am currently posted to acident and emergency department. already on my 3rd week now. for once, i enjoy my working life. Not because i love being a first liner, but because i feel like i am being treated as a human being again.very minimal superiority-ism, and most of all, proper time off;-)- something i ve been yapping about for the past one year.hohoho.

in A&E, i have met all kind of patients - from the ones who'll make you laugh till you almost get a vasovagal attack, to the ones who will really push your level of tolerance to the edge. i wonder how those general practitioner could still hold on to their sanity after all the chronic years being exposed to all the ridiculous presenting complaints. just yesterday a father brought his son to A&E and asked me wether i could cut his son's frenulum ( the cenrally located thin membrane that hold your tongue to the buccal floor ) because he claimed that his 8 year old son has a 'short tongue' speech. so he intelligently thought that by cutting the frenulum it will resolve the speech problem. what a fab father.

And my advice to the public; if you happened to be trivially unwell ( like sore throat, common cold, mild abdominal pain) or chrooonically unwell ( like 5 day history of vomiting, 1 week history of fever, 2 months of ear pain ) please do not opt to come to the hospital after 12 midnight when you could have come muuuuch earlier when there are more staffs around. it is quite ignorant of you to come and bugging us at wee hours for non-urgent illness, when those time and energy should be reserved to attend patients who really needs urgent intervention. total ignorant and inconsiderate.

personal life

we are buying a second car :) currently awaiting for loan approval. Our parents have been a lot of help in the process.can't thank the four of you enough. we are buying the car using cheri's parent's loan allocation and my parents so thoughtfully bought us a plate number. i wanted a number that is similar to our current car, but sombody has tendered for it earlier:(

the weather is very dull these days.cloudy and wet. reminds me of Dublin. and I miss it..
will go there again someday.
And dang.just a few days back i was suddenly super-hype with gucci's Ladies web hobo, this morning, i saw one of my senior colleague rocking one. ~~bytch~~ besnye:P

Someone special

2009-11-23T22:34:00.004+08:00

i was browsing cheri's external hard disc earlier this evening and found this. An old memory abruptly resurfaced. i gave him this 6 years ago in reply of another mty bear(s). cheesy and lame i know but it's still freaking sweeet and.. lovey :P

job

2009-11-19T19:51:00.003+08:00

my assessment went rather well the other day.
i was able to answer all the orthopaedic questions she threw at me.
but i did meet a cul- de- sac finally to a GENERAL MEDICAL question : which was ' massive blood transfusion complications' - something that has never really crossed my mind to be asked about and something that i definitely couldnt twist with my logic because when i looked upon the topic after that, it was way out of my 'goreng' circuit. but at least now i know what the complications are;-) and oh, i cant believe i struggled big time with hypovolaemic shock grading. quite embarassing and unacceptable when i think about it.

anyway, i did have something to cheer about post-assessment. initially , my assessor told a good friend that i have passed my assessment. then, she even told a class of medical students + some fellow housemen that i did pretty well for my assesment. it definitely made my day *-^

manu encore

2009-11-13T01:13:00.005+08:00

mais quand on se verra, un jour ou l'autre
mais quand tu serra la, ce jour ou l'autre
je saurai que c'est toi, parmi tant d'autre
meme sans dire un mot

aahh je suis amoureux de chanson et je suis amoureuse de mon mari :P trop belle!

survey , sorta

2009-11-11T23:05:00.003+08:00

do i like my current posting?
yes and no.

Yes to the HOD, yes to the likable and ever very pleasant and professional chinese specialist, yes to the nurses team (mostly), yes to a handful of colleagues, yes to a few MOs.

but no to the shouting-prone specialist, no to those who practise favouritism, no to the stressful pass over sessions, no to the long ot sessions, no to drama filled meetings, no to drama queens!

otherwise, life is good on and off work :)

neuro-poli-tic

2009-11-09T10:21:00.005+08:00

Terdapat isteri calon wakil rakyat Pas yang menangis dan menggeletar pada majlis bai'ah apabila mendengar ikatan perkahwinan mereka dijadikan bahan tebusan demi kepentingan politik kepartian yang sempit dan jumud.

Gelojak rasa itu turut dikongsi si suami yang menggigil sewaktu mengangkat bai'ah yang memberi kata dua sama ada terus setia kepada parti atau bercerai talak tiga dengan isteri. - utusan malaysia 9 nov 09

whoaaa chill out bro.I wouldn't disagree more if this piece of reporting was true ( dont really care if it was not true either, I merely loathe the idea of such people exist!). Are these people THAT neurotic to actually willing to put their marriages at stake for ~~power~~ politic?

I know most of them has a sincere heart, sincerely believing they are fighting for a right course and blah blah, which I think is a good quality. But that doestn't permit you to be stupid!! this stupid! my dear fellow ~~muslims~~ Malaysians, I respect (and share) your intention that religious values should be the core in navigating your political ideas, that your political party should be a platform for you to implement it.However to blatantly worship THAT party like GOD (God forbid) is freaking way out of line. At the end of the day, it is just a platform, operated by mere humans; which are bound to make mistakes here and there. You can always find a new platform to channel your ideas, but are you really that douchey to leave your wife forever (whom you might still be in love with) for it. where do you learn such things? why do people like you guys exist? Learn to prioritise your responsibility as a leader! It always starts with you, second comes your family and only then, others and what not. God why do i even bother to ~~preach~~ teach you that. git!

P/S : forgot to mention in previous post. have bought the chest box too!!!! found it at Pavillion :) now, cheri, only 3 more items left : CD's j'adore, sun shades, and my white chanel 2.55 ;-)

post call

2009-11-05T00:11:00.003+08:00

turned out i had a busy call yesterday. 14 admissions and 3 discharges. but it was a good call. i enjoyed the company of the A&E team and some helpful colleagues and nurses. well, in ortho the call itself can be quite exciting actually; but what makes us rather reluctant (or dare i say 'phobic'?) to face it is the pass-over session. got lectured pretty long on certain topic by my specialist, but that was like blah compared to the possibility of being shouted at, which i am so relieved to escape.
had a long nice sleep this evening. :)

will be jorneying to SP tomorrow eve.

good night cheri. good night every one:)

neuroprexic state of mind

2009-11-02T19:27:00.003+08:00

feeling a bit off today. hubby dear went back to kuantan early this morning. working life occilated between timid cheerfullness and mood-wrenching episodes. ah well, should i care more? ~~yes of course~~ no i shouldnt. let's apply what DR F , a senior psychiatrist, said the other day during the stress management CME; you yourself decides whether you want to be affected by the given situation or not. and this time, i will try my best to be optimistic.

come what may. i ll face it with a smile :)

we bought a refridgerator :P

God, please grant me a good call tommorow and smooth pass-over session the next day.
n God, i beg you to let me have my mini break by the end of this week ;-)

wishlists

2009-10-03T11:47:00.004+08:00

*message alert* for cheri :P

1. new CD's j'adore
2. lovely lace's chest box
3.refridgerator ( yes havent got one!)
4.spa visit
5. dark brownish shades ( a morgan will do)
6. white coco chanel 2.55 <--------aim : by 2020 ;-)

MY Best Friends' weddings

2009-10-02T17:38:00.004+08:00

alhamdulillah. i have a marvellous time for these past few weeks. I'm happy at work, I'm happy at home. why? for many reasons.well, i have only three oncalls last month. Plus, a ~~more than~~ willing friend will take my call this coming weekend, my two bridesmaids -Miey and Ally- has just got married (attended) and is getting married (will attend) respectively (hihi), meeting fams during eid, ~~pampered meself with a pair of armour plate buckle flats for raya~~ friends coming over for eid, etc etc etc. but most of all, i am very ultimately happy to be at my husband's side again. with him around, everything seems to fall into place as its should. it partially feels like miracle, you know. whatever it is, im just grateful, and cant thank God enough for it.

Miey and Afif, what more can we say . CONGRATULATION!!
I was so touched when I heard the akad. the Tok kadi was the one who was nervous instead of afif who sounded so steady when declaring the akad:P and yes miey, id say this again ; Finally! ;-)
many Tahapian friends turned up at the reception. it quickly became our batch's unofficial mini reunion. the bride and groom were looking very radiant. it was a very harmonious saturday. meeting friends I havent seen for 9 years ( i'm feeling very old:(( ) at my bestfriend's wedding:)
it was rather incredible to find out what each and everyone of us has become, an ADO, daddies, mommies, husband and wives, lecturers, etc and then looked back at what we were 10 years ago. i know i personally have changed a lot since then ; in both priciples and attitude, although it is not something i regret doing. as i age through time and space, I sort of discovered a wider perspective about life. and I'm glad that my husband and I are sharing many similar views .aah.. c'est la vie and jai ho :-)

to all tahapian friends, Hanis just delivered a beautiful 3.1 kg baby girl ( alia aqilah) early morning yesterday via caesarean section in HOSHAS. both baby and mother are well;-)

pmc/dubliner mates, hope to meet you guys at ally's wedding this weekend;-)

orthopaedics

2009-09-05T20:46:00.003+08:00

My first impression about this posting was not a good one. i came to a pretty fast conclusion that obs and gynae team was waaaaaaaay better organised than the ortho team. up to today, my impression hasn't changed. i sort of enjoy orthopaedic posting as well, but i realised that i ve lost so many privilleges too, which i enjoyed during my time in O&G.

first of all, i have no more weekend off.
secondly, ortho's staff nurses are relatively unreliable in comparison, in almost every way.
thirdly, housemen have almost always become the team's scapegoats.at least in O&G we have our dear HOD to back us up.but in ortho, even if the downfall is between the specialists to begin with, they will find a way to twist and turn things until they find a houseman to put the blame on, followed by unnecessary punishments and threats; which to me is ridiculous and disgraceful.
fourth, i hate threats!
fifth, i dislike nursing ulcers and broken bones.(for my sake, u diabetic people please do not take your feet for granted! start caring for it!!)

it's about time they realize the karma in gaining respect. respect is something you earn. u treat others like shit, you'd get the same in return. we might obey whatever you have to say, but God knows what we are bitching about you behind your back.
i know for a fact that surgical posting will be worse. their specialists and senior MOs are literally gangsters.from what i heard there had been a couple or more instances whereby patients got beaten up. and oh, they have a very absurd oncall rules.. stupid really.

fortunately, to topple all these negativity , is the fact that my husband is finally home for good. and i have a handful of nice friends as well ; which is why, i am not too stressed out by all these dramas.

so far, i have quite a peaceful Ramadhan too. alhamdulillah. most of the time i break fast with my grandparent and sis. i have bought my baju raya too ( hohoho). hubby and I will be wearing maroon-ish pair of clothes inshallaah;-) mum n dad will be wearing golden brown perhaps. raya cookies? havent thought of any. will deal with that soon:P

mie and afif is getting married after raya. and i would smile to even the tinge of thought about it, knowing their cute history from the beginning and finally tying the knot inshaallah;-) selamat bersiap, jgn panik2. it will be a blissful day definitely. something you will remember all your life and light you up even when the whole world betrays you. chewah. but really, that's the power of being in love and its celebration. it makes you feel at ease. settled. secured.

i love you. husband. family. and friends.

it's mushy time - no need to read

2009-09-02T20:31:00.005+08:00

hmm today, im pretty happy. why? coz hubby has landed home!! though not directly to me.. yet. lookin forward to spend lifetime with you bb. already started decorating chez nous. browsing home necessities around town ( though hasnt really bought them yet:P it'd be more fun to shop together wouldn't it?:P:P)

i am seriously in love with my husband,who was my first and last boyfriend - my bestest friend of friends. a husband for eternity ;X;X

with endless love n hugs n kisses

your now-high-spirited wife;-)

what a pair of twats

2009-08-17T19:32:00.004+08:00

a marriage that's built over other's broken marriage.
blissful? hah, dream on gits.
obviously this very fast onset occasion reaffirmed his ex-wife's claim.
i cant believe someone ~~supposedly~~ this religious and well clad could afford to be a plain slut as she proved to be. and the so-called self proclaimed tabligh abandoning his wife for months and you expect she didnt retaliate??? n u dare to say she menderhaka to you while you had your own sweet time having an affair w someone way down below par compared to your exwife (in that matter) without really letting her go or gave a clear cut resolution? what a bastard you are.

i doubt this two would be happy at all. From the beginning it's already faulty. they may try though.

p/s am i the only one who feels nauseated to the max looking at that slut's gleeful face? hah

p/p.s cant wait to have hubby back and adventuring ramadhan together. come back quick hunnie bunnie;-)

jerk n jerkiness

2009-08-10T00:19:00.004+08:00

what i feel like doing? singing on top of my lung n dancing in the middle of the road :) call me crazy, but im sure that could release this looong bottled feeling i have inside. only then, i could say.. 'yeeaahh... im feeling good' :)

DANCING in the moonlite sounds nice dontcha think? hahah

ya Rabbi.

love , job, and les ballerines

2009-08-03T20:48:00.007+08:00

My Best friend is engaged! too bad i couldn't attend the ceremony as i was away.
congratulation dear! i am sooo happy for the two of you. still waiting for pictures;-) muahxxxx ;X

secondly, i am leaving obstetric and gynaecology department for ( drummmmmm trtrtrtrtriittt) ... ORTHOPAEDICS . the fist remark a colleague made when i told her regarding the news ' wah, jobless lah kau 4 bulan pasni :P ' i sure hope so. but the problem is, i am not really into nursing gross diabetic food and fracture reduction and polytraumatic management. oh well, what the hell, it's ortho baby. enjoy it while it lasts. hohohohoh! i'm gonna miss O&G though. i have sort of built a bond with the team; specialists, mo's, ho's and some nurses. the best HOD ever resides in ONG and im leaving it:( quite emotional about it. huhuh.

i have added a few more stuffs into my collection, and am loving every inch of them!!
welcoming portefeuille Sarah and another (graffiti zucca ) ballerina shoes ! man im deeply into balerina shoes these days.

oh baby, i love you

other ballerines that attract my heart and eyes are chloe's ballerina slippers and LV's ballerina mayfair

awww how cuteee. if only huhuh. but of course, ballerina shoes has somewhat always been chanel-esque, so may i say it would be imperfect not to ~~dream of~~ own~~ing~~ its flats!

all flats bow to Her Majesty :P

c'est pas trop tard pour le change

2009-07-22T04:20:00.005+08:00

sometimes i wonder if i had made a right choice by being a doctor. I am not so happy with my given tasks most of the time for now, but something is telling me I'm gonna be grateful and delighted to be where i will be eventually. i really pray my intuition would turn out right.
why i don't like it much for now?

well, first of all i hate being bossed around - i don't mind specialists - but i hate unnecessary orders by the seniors ( especially if they are just the budding ones - mengade nak mampus) and utterly hate it when it comes from the nurses. man i hate that. i love my current head of department. she's like an angel seriously. a very rare quality for a Malaysian specialist ( who thinks superiority is compulsory to be displayed in every possible channels they could think of- an attitude that rarely worn by the mat saleh ~~Irish~~ specialists i believe. my H.O.D would defend us the mere housemen from stupid complaints notably coming from a few particular Sisters ( one is a serious bitch) anda handful of idiot plus ignorant nurses. uhhh i totally love it when she threw back the dung right onto their snub faces warghaahahaha! and if it was not for her, i doubt i could be flying to Paris for - what most of my friends called - our second honeymoon. i m not really sure what honeymoon supposed to mean exactly; i mean we've been married for almost a year - but yes i think i did suffer honeymoon cystitis afterward :P

secondly, the on-calls. i don't appreciate a series of disturbed sleeps let alone sleepless nights! what even bothers me is how frequent they are. My husband did voice his concern that i wont be around much for him considering numerous monthly on-call nights. we haven't been staying together yet since i started my housemanship. so i honestly don't know how exactly it's gonna be.but i seriously want to work it up to maximise my time with him - if it be within my power. in a way i am very delihgted with the outpouring of new housemen we are currently experiencing- less burden and hopefully less on-calls! ( less calls equals to less extra allowances but then again i am not willing to sacrifice the 3 quarters of my time for the sake of the job. i need time for family and for myself - a right that is deliberately overlooked by the current system.) stop complaining why freshly graduated docs prefer to work oversea : other than the pay, it's the system! doc's welfare are much better taken care of. u know what's the standard line our superiors always like to remind us? we've been through hell and so should you. and oh this is the best part - coming from a deputy state health director during my induction course : a fellow houseman raised a question ; what is the channel for us to voice out our disapproval had we been ill-treated by the superiors. you wanna know what his answer was? - i swear i couldn't believe my ears- ; there is none. just deal with it - very evil-sounded yet the most honest answer i have ever heard.

so far my defense mechanism still works in an acceptable range though it has been edgy many many times :$ :$.. but the best one came from a psychiatrist (no, surprisingly i'm still sane. i met her during a general meeting, not a session :P ). i really now hold on to that to survive work : she said - just remember that everytime you attend to and treat a patient, you will be rewarded big time by the Almighty- even by just smiling at them.

they keep reminding us to work sincerely as well, which i fully agree. but they need to understand that being sincere and being overworked is two different situations. to be sincere is my duty but to get a proper time off is my right!

there you have it.

lucky enough to attend the eiffel tower's 120 years celebration. they cracked a total of 15 thousands fireworks for the event and it was a pure genius and brilliant set of fireworks! like a toddler behind us exclaimed; c'est beau!!! i was suffocating in the sea of people but totally forgot about the hypoxic breathing once the show began. to my beau, merci bien. i hurt you a lot i know, but you are the best thing i have ever had. there are loads of sacrifice you made on my course and i want you to know i acknowledge and appreciate every one of them. i love you and can't wait to have you home!!! baby i love you;X

footy headline

2009-07-04T13:16:00.003+08:00

i havent blogged about my favorite sport for a loooong time.

sooo.. Owen? The LIVERPOOL born michael owen ( not Hargreaves) is now A Man United boy??
unbeliverpool.. they are probably planning to start an Owens collection in their ~~museum~~ squad..

karim benzema is now raul's teammate . good luck frenchie.

oh federer, by all means please win your dunno-what-number Wimbledon. it's your court!!!

will you be there

2009-06-26T22:18:00.004+08:00

Hold Me
Like The River Jordan
And I Will Then Say To Thee
You Are My Friend

Carry Me
Like You Are My Brother
Love Me Like A Mother
Will You Be There?

Weary
Tell Me Will You Hold Me
When Wrong, Will You Scold Me
When Lost Will You Find Me?

But They Told Me
A Man Should Be Faithful
And Walk When Not Able
And Fight Till The End
But I'm Only Human

Everyone's Taking Control Of Me
Seems That The World's
Got A Role For Me
I'm So Confused
Will You Show To Me
You'll Be There For Me
And Care Enough To Bear Me

(Hold Me)
(Lay Your Head Lowly)
(Softly Then Boldly)
(Carry Me There)

(Lead Me)
(Love Me And Feed Me)
(Kiss Me And Free Me)
(I Will Feel Blessed)

(Carry)
(Carry Me Boldly)
(Lift Me Up Slowly)
(Carry Me There)

(Save Me)
(Heal Me And Bathe Me)
(Softly You Say To Me)
(I Will Be There)

(Lift Me)
(Lift Me Up Slowly)
(Carry Me Boldly)
(Show Me You Care)

(Hold Me)
(Lay Your Head Lowly)
(Softly Then Boldly)
(Carry Me There)

(Need Me)
(Love Me And Feed Me)
(Kiss Me And Free Me)
(I Will Feel Blessed)

[Spoken]
In Our Darkest Hour
In My Deepest Despair
Will You Still Care?
Will You Be There?
In My Trials
And My Tribulations
Through Our Doubts
And Frustrations
In My Violence
In My Turbulence
Through My Fear
And My Confessions
In My Anguish And My Pain
Through My Joy And My Sorrow
In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow
I'll Never Let You Part
For You're Always In My Heart.
-------------------------MJ-----------------------

and my tears fell towards the end of this song..
the emotion and the message was so powerful that i can't hold back tears.
this era has long gone even before his passing, but now the reality hit rather hard, that this has now gone for good and for real.

Im starting from the man in The Mirror

2009-06-26T20:13:00.004+08:00

c'est la bon Dieu qui nous fais
c'est la bon Dieu qui nous brise

Michael Jackson has passed away. The Michael Jackson has deceased.. i'm still processing this piece of news in my head. not very well adjusted to it yet..

i grew up listening to Michael's hits , mainly because my parents were his fans back then; and im still adoring his old sensational tracks. what a loss.

alhamdulillah, He finally opened his heart to our beautiful religion during his last few years on earth. May Allah grant you His mercy . ameen.

(click here for link to Press Statement by michael's brother Jermaine )

not just another day

2009-06-15T00:08:00.003+08:00

it's the date i remember most. i have never forgotten it since i was 16.

happy birthday husband

a kid's tale

2009-06-01T19:17:00.002+08:00

Watch Adorable Little French Girl Makes Up Fairy Tale and more funny videos on CollegeHumor

elle est tres mignon! too cute for words!! wish that was my child ;-) hehe

lull - a - bye

2009-04-30T22:08:00.002+08:00

Une chanson douce
Que me chantait ma maman
En suçant mon pouce
J'écoutais en m'endormant
Cette chanson douce
Je veux la chanter pour toi
Car ta peau est douce
Comme la mousse des bois

Pour toi ô ma douce
Jusqu'à la fin de ma vie..

----------------
Now playing: Silverchair - Emotion Sickness
via FoxyTunes

Ladies first

2009-04-04T20:45:00.006+08:00

what a nice pair of shoes. And legs. don't know why, but i do have a thing for ballerina shoes these days. and the shades of gray does complement her beauty. oh By all means, Michelle looks great too.

Barrack is quite lean for a president, don't you think? as for sarkozy, marrying a supermodel does come with a price. :D

i quietly turned 26 yesterday. it was a very humble birthday compared to previous occasions. what did I do at 12 midnight? - ambu-bagging one newly intubated patient while waiting for bed availability in CCU. i wished myself happy birthday under my breath and smiled.

i also had an end-of- posting assessment with the hospital director in the evening the same day. perhaps, it was my birthday luck, he endorsed and let me proceed with the next posting rather easilly. for the record, he is quite notoriously known for his liking to extend us housemen over trivial and petty stuff. that's why i felt like i must have had that birthday charm with me during the assessment hehehe.

and so, i called up several friends afterward to have dinner at secret recepi to sort of celebrate my getting-through with the pengarah. it was a fine evening. by God, i didnt intend to celebrate birthday at all, i didnt even order cakes. the reason i chose secret recepi was because i was salivating for their grilled blackpepper chicken. however one of my friends suddenly remembered the date and thus they threw me an abrupt and brief birthday party. thanks anyway. like i said. it was a fine evening.

thanks miey and dolly for the lovely thoughts. these two has so far never failed to wish me happy birthday since they first knew me. i am touched - greatly.

and most of all, thank you my dear great loving husband for all the love, thought and care you have showered me with. it was so sweet when you said your love for me would never be the same today and tomorrow as it keeps on growing each day. that was very sweet and i will never forget that for eternity. i just hope you kept your words for just as long.

i love you, baby.

----------------
Now playing: Taylor Swift - [Love Story ]
via FoxyTunes

CONFESSION OF A SHOPPAHOLIC

2009-03-16T01:18:00.003+08:00

it has been quite a well since i last blogging with SENSE. huhuh. i finally received my first pay around last month. damn happy at that moment. and paraphrasing Collin firth's in Love Actually : ' a woman's got to do what a woman's got to do' hohohoh.

went to KL / kuantan recently with positive balance of these :

I just cant resist that ballerina shoes. they're just too adorable to ditch!! As for the shades, that's just my nafsu subliming , forcing me to own one heheh.

i was recently transferred to the busiest and most chaotic ward in the hospital. What a grim. To Ana, I'm sorry I couldn't attend your wedding. i was supposed to go back by 1.00 pm that day, but my piling workload ( and fussy patient's relatives) had successfully barricaded that from happening, in fact extended my working hours up to 7.00 pm.

I am up for assesment anytime now. im guessing it's gonna be either wednesday or thursday.
Bonne Chance a moi!

2009-02-19T23:39:00.003+08:00

life has obnoxiously changed so freaking much. it was different 5 months ago, another version 2 months ago and now this. i really don't care anymore. i sort of became soulless lately, indifferent, blunted and just live life for the sake of living.

i do have beautiful family waiting at home. the staffs in general are acceptably nice. in fact some do become rather close acquaintances of mine, yes. but the seniors are mostly superior-ish and some are even snobbish. my working environment is actually relatively very conducive and the view outside, surprisingly is quite refreshing.

yet i still feel like i don't belong to the system.

but then again, really, i don't care anymore. no one give a shit anyway.

to my dear friends, i miss spending time with most of you. i miss the familiar faces i used to hang out with. i miss my old skool friends whom i'd been thru the toughest period of life with.
james and angel called the other day. how they had made my night. thanks guys. i really miss those days. ..

endless torment

2009-01-07T21:44:00.005+08:00

http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=213380&title=strip-maul

quite sum up the real situation over the said conflict.

Another point I would like to make clear ;-

Israel DID NOT come to the once PALESTINIANS' land in peace. THEY INVADED and KILLED just like terrorist militants. To call Hamas a terrorist organization is an injustice and a water-clear bias opinion,if without labeling the evil Israel the same.

I am freaking SICK of the mainstream media. thank Jon. You prove to me that there are still Jews who are able to call a spade, a spade!

Loss and gain..

2008-12-17T20:58:00.003+08:00

I am a career woman now :)

but God knows best of how stressful my career is :(

My Mr Darcy

2008-11-14T20:21:00.006+08:00

you know , i have always thought Mr Darcy in both P&P and Bridget Jones' diary is charming. How I would be smiling dreamily every time i watched or read them. the most recent one being this afternoon- leading me to write about this hehe. but in reality, I am not too sure if I want my husband to have a personality as such. I like the romantic part of it but I don't fancy the excessive pride displayed by Mr Darcy's character - if it was for real. no, my husband is no Mr Darcy in term of self pride. but he is just as reserved, and just as well- composed as Mr Darcy - TO ME. if only he was just as rich :P:P

don't worry hubby, money only matters when you are truly broke :p

I have been in contact with my close friends since i got back from France. It feels wonderful to hear from them. But now I dread to start working. i have heard unfavourable rumours of the hospitals i applied. i really really hope that i would find it otherwise. i don't want to be in that miserable state of depression! I am done with feeling pathetic for myself. i just want to be happy or moderately low at worst. too much to ask for but ask i did. i want to be someone who would not regret what she chose in life. career is definitely one of them. a major one infact... oh hell yeah, let me get lost in my own fairy tale land. a place where we all can live , happilly, ever, after. oh just let me:P

Mr. Darcy: Miss Elizabeth. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you... I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family's expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.

Elizabeth Bennet: I don't understand.

Mr. Darcy: I love you.

Me : owhhh....

quitter Paris pour Pangkor

2008-11-12T17:14:00.006+08:00

et je ne reve pas

je sais quand j'arretarai

je vais quitter Paris

je sais apres, je vais payer pour ca

- les limites par Julien Dore -

i sing those lines every 5 minutes. no. every 2!.
so i am called to attend an induction course scheduled at Pangkor Island starting this Monday. Of all places they send me to Pangkor; where i definitely can't drive my car to. sigh.
i hope it'd be fun. it'd better be so.I will probably be starting my internship by 6 December. don't know where yet.the thought does transmit a chill through my spine. let us all hope that i would become a great doctor ; for everyone's benefits ;-)

to Aja and Apis, selamat bersiap dgn aman dan bahagia. jgn stress2 or gabra2. it will be one of the sweetest days in your life. yes, believe me. coz i ve been there n done that. hehe.

bitte gib mir nur ein wort

2008-11-08T09:46:00.006+08:00

c'est le Bon Dieu qui nous fait
et c'est le Bon Dieu qui nous brise
It's the Good God that makes us
and it's the Good God that breaks us

extracted from the song Caravane by Raphael

i met a foreigner at Starbucks the other day. we went there for the same primary reason ; internet access. and surprisingly with a same mission ; to find out the latest result of US presidential election. although i did have another bigger and fatter mission of wanting the internet access so badly; which was to 'buzz' my husband's yahoo messenger in hope that he would wake up to the annoying sounds. because i miss him awfully much. Alas, much to my dismay, his sleep was not disturbed at all by my lousy attempts. i couldn't call him as i am yet to activate the IDD call service. My parents were out of town hence no phones to borrow. i don't like to be in that state of desperation. it's just soo freaking frustrating and nothing i can do about it.

anyway, the mat saleh atuk was, dare i say, poorly literate in IT. Therefore he kindly asked me to establish the internet connection for his computer. Apparently he just bought it 2 weeks ago . he is one of the typical westerners who prefer to spend most of their pension money on traveling around the world. He was so delighted to finally find someone whom he can discuss international politic with. hahahah. talk about bumping into the right person :p no, I'm not good at it but i sure like to talk about such things.

a mon mari cheri,

my life is much more meaningful now than it was ever before. i look forward to spend eternity with you. i miss you terribly yet i'm at ease and feeling very secured and fortunate to finally be married to you. am grateful on being officially yours. voici, j'ai mon coeur ancre dans ton coeur ;X hope i french it right again ;)

the parting

2008-11-05T10:31:00.006+08:00

i have landed home safely - with mixed feeling of sadness, grateful, love, loss, and sadness again.

God knows how hard it was to leave my husband. leaving on a jet plane lyric fitted the situation at that moment like a glove. it happened exactly like the song narrates, except for 'taxi blowing its honk' part. i can't describe how wonderful a husband he is. je t'aime tellement. he asked me to remember happier moments when i think of him, and I'm doing just that. till we meet again chouchou.

we went to visit the other side of my family 1 week before i left. i am glad we did. everyone was very happy and we had too much of a great time that left a great impact when we parted. i miss them very much.

predictably, my tears streamed down frequently during my journey back, at the airports, in the planes ( it took three planes for me to get to kuantan). but i have regained my composure now. i haven't cried at all since i got into the taxi heading home. i am more composed than i thought i would be. good for me.

mon frere : when will abg N come back?

Moi : Next year.

mon frere : When? January?

Moi : probably June or July i guess.

mon frere : uish. that's gonna be quite a while.

Moi : i know.

racletting

2008-10-16T20:05:00.008+08:00

We bought the raclette grill yesterday evening. Have been browsing several shops since a couple of weeks ago and we have finally made up our minds on which one to buy.taraaaaa!!!!

The grill.Behind it was the apron that i mentioned inthe previous post. Just as backdrop:p

Indeed we shopped en masse yesterday. Mostly on necessities though. Our kitchen had run out of supplies. Chere's printer was running out of cartridge too and hence need a new one.Plus,by purchasing Raclette grill, it obligated us to buy the raclette 'food' as well.the cheese particularly is not that cheap. sigh. We decided for a simple raclette meal in the end.
Raclette is both a cheese, and a grilled dish served with the raclette cheese. Both are called raclette. Raclette -as stated in the grill's manual book- originates from Switzerland.But is so equally famous in France that you would think it is French's by origin. I think it would be just as fair to call it a French cuisine too though. it is not important what you choose to grill as long as you have the cheese heated in the coupelles underneath the grill. it can vary from vegies like tomatoes to meat slices to seafoods . traditionally, it is usualy accompanied by steamed or boiled potatoes as well. Of course baguette is no alien too :) .

The coupelles

Our package of raclette last night consists of chicken and beef salami, a platter of boiled potatoes, and a baguette. i wanted to add meat slices to our meal but cheri reminded me we had already had our dinner earlier. a dozen slices of salami would do for the night. allright.

the raclette cheese is a bit smelly but you'll forget about it once you have tasted it. As a matter of fact i smelled nothing when it has melted. I have to say this, SEDAP GILE; hehe

the melting cheese

Cheri's plate

my plate ;)

so that was my tail of raclette. fin :)

killing three birds with one stone.You betcha!!

2008-10-13T14:37:00.001+08:00

Somewhen last week, we woke up at 5.15 a.m.
Took a shower (separately), got dressed, prayed together, had a quick breakfast, and off to Paris. Yeayyy!!! it was quite an abrupt decision. We only decided this minutes before falling asleep the night before.
We went there for three errands; whereby two of them were mine,

Souvenirs hunting
~~Window~~ shopping at Val d'europe
Mondial de l'Automobile / Paris Motor Show (the main and probably the most important reason for such an abrupt and hasty decision:p and no, this is primarily cheri's wish- not mine)

By 8.45 p.m we were already at the Gare de l'est, one of the six Paris' train stations. Wasting no time we headed straight to Place St. Michel via Metro. It is situated just opposite the ever famous Notre Dame Cathedral, separated by River Seine. We weren't there for sightseeing purposes,but as I mentioned earlier, I wanted to buy souvenirs, and it so happened that souvenir shops around that area sell them at cheaper prices. That's the main and sole reason why we were there. We left St Michel metro station for Val d'europe at 11.00 a.m. ,after spending a whopping 75 euros on the souvenirs... huhu. I have to. The shop owner were kind enough to give us not one but five free gifts worth 12 to 13 euros ,plus a decent discount on the stuff we bought. thanks Monsieur, God Bless your business! i bought myself an apron,with pictures of various types of French Cheese, backgrounded by the French Flag. It looks cool and very french.hehe
Val d'europe is only stops away from the Disneyland. It probably can be labelled as the 'Champs Elysee' for the middle class. It is for me at least! shopping heaven!!! I swear Cheri has never seen me smiling so broadly as that moment since i came to France. Initially we passed by the usually seen outlets such as GAP, Esprit, Naf Naf, Etam, Armand Thierry etc. Then to the slightly rarer ones like United Colours of Benetton. These shops were all in one long mall. Once we reached the other end of the mall, cheri pulled my hand towards the exit door. what,i want to shop! but to my big, mind-blowing surprise, there's a village of designer outlets located next to the roofed mall!!! Gosh i felt like hugging him right there for bringing me to this most wonderful village! rambang mate terus. I look left, Armani. I looked right, Celine. I look futher front, Furla, Lancel, Burberry!! I had to step inside every of these outlets. I just had to. there were Christian Lacroix's, Salvatore Ferrangamo's, Dolce and Gabbana's, Calvin Klein's, Tommy H's, almost everything -you name it. It's there. Jimmy Choo and Baccarat is opening soon. No LV/ Dior/ Chanel though. thanks cheri dear. Monsieur Chere was slightly restless and agitated by two o'clock, so i quickly decided what and which items that i wish to buy and shopped i did!! i ended up buying myself a bag and a wallet,plus a long purse and a tie for ma mere et mon pere respectively.

La Vallée Vilage

The world class car exhibition surely attracted millions. We took a connecting underground metro network to Porte de Versailles station to get there.By now it was Chouchou's turn to smile broadly :p It was really fascinating. not just we were able to see the posh and luxorious cars at close range, we even witnessed various types of limited editions and concept cars from various established major automobile brands. Of course,Proton or Perodua were not there. sigh. too high for their league. we spent more than 4 hours there and even that was not enough to finish the tour. Alas, we had a train to catch. by 10.00 p.m. ,we were safely home once again. It was a very tiring unplanned trip but satisfying I'd say. je te remercie mon chere , tu sais que je t'aime :)

les Pains et les Fromages

2008-10-13T10:04:00.001+08:00

I have been a fan of French Baguette since many years ago. It was quite a frequently bought item during my tesco-shopping years. Back in Dublin, a couple of French baguettes are must-buy compliment whenever i purchased the Dunne Store's Food-to-Go salad or pasta. For the present, bagutte is almost a daily routine in our menu, alongside with Malaysian dishes and pasta.
The made-in-France baguette proved to be extradelicious compared to the rest. 'So good you can even eat it on its own'. Ah of course, the French eat baguette virtually in every meal of theirs. Either as sandwiches or some sort of desserts/ appetisers. As for me, I find that baguette tastes best when eaten with camembert cheese.ohhh.. once you start eating that, you'd find it very hard to stop.and that's exactly the case for me. Not to mention that we usually eat this after a heavy meal. I will not be surprise if I put on weight after these two months in France. but so far, my weight remains at a plateau - since as long as I can remember :p Now that I know how tasty camembert cheese is, I desperately wish i would find it in Malaysian hypermarkets' refrigerated department. I surely pray so.
I have finally gotten over my long-standing craving for kebab, as i have ingested tons of them in this past one month and half. hohoho. Really, Malaysian 'kebab' is an absolute insult and disgrace to the real kebab; both in taste and presentation. Can't the arabs migrate to malaysia for a change? and bring along your shishs, falafel and the rest of your over-the-roof calories and salt content meals. hehe.
oh I also discovered that pasta is better served with emental cheese rather than the usual parmesan, ceddar or mozarella. Cheri can even eat speggeti sprinkled with that cheese alone without any sauces and it still tastes great.
Raclette. One of the dishes that i had in mind before boarding for France was raclette. Cheri and I are planning to buy the raclette grill this afternoon. cant wait!! I will tell more about this unique French food once we bought the grill. hopefully.
talking about food makes me super hungry. i should start preparing lunch now. Alors, a plus!!

monday morning mumbling

2008-10-03T22:57:00.005+08:00

Husband is out for school, and I ~~finally got the chance to dominate the internet!!~~ continue to be an old fashion housewife just as a true conservative housewife should be:p - at least I wish I was one. haha. though I must admit I'm not sure if I could stay this way if it was meant for a long run. you know.. with all the modern lifestyle ideas surrounding your mind's every angle; I should be rewarded big time if i could exempt myself from such temptation. haha. good crap:D
Tina Fey should win an Oscar. Seriously. those Palin skits are hillarious. the only less funny about them , was just how true the jokes were. Palin is a joke. and that is a scary thing. usually it makes no difference to me whoever is in the white house, as their foreign policies sadly have no major differences but trivial. ( like how both parties love and compete on who kisses Israel's ass the most. like we have to spread democracy but then dont let the palestinians hold an election because Hamas will sure win! and they are terrorist. listen here America, how did u expect to solve the palestine-israel conflict when you are clearly a pompous bias nation towards one side? im telling you, if hamas is labelled as terrorist group,israel should be one too coz there were no difference in their actions agaisnt each others' citizen; uh oh.. except for the bloody invasion and land robbery by the zionist many decades ago?)ok i should get back to tina and palin things. having said that though, Palin's case is exceptional. i should worry. why? because she's a dumb bimbo brunette from Alaska! imagine if she ever took over the oval office... and all the scary decisions and judgements that she would make.. she may be 'charming???' but governing requires knowledge which seems to be lacking from her 'homer simpson'-like brain.if Iwere to select my leader, Iwouldn't want an average hockey mom or an average six-pack-joe,- ' who is just like me' to be one. I would want someone who is hell smarter than me. anyone can be president, yes; but only if he or she deserves it. And uh oh.. with Mc cain's extensive record of medical conditions ( God knows how many cancers he has had!), it would be more than possible that this self-proclaimed hockey mom from alaska- who only received her first ever passport last year- would be world's most important person. Heaven Forbid!!! the world will never be a better place if not worse. I want nothing but peace all over. I'm sick of hearing warfare news. and how unjust this world seems to be.
I am not in favour of Obama's Policies in many things. infact Mc Cains' seems to fit my ideology better. nonetheless, Mc Cain is not a convincing choice for a president. He is simply ...not the president material. Obama on the other hand, does have what it takes ;the booming voice, the ability to execute (or so it seems), almost straight to the point messages, well composed,and he own a more confident personality.
You should watch their debates. both Mc cain -Obama and Biden-Palin . You'll have a good laugh watching the latter. I guarantee. And make sure to watch all the Palin's skits on SNL. What an amazing impersonation by tina fey. The body languages, the accent were all very palin-like. And of course, you definitely should watch Palin's horrible CBS interview with KAtie Couric!! - then watch fey :D

I got this while surfing the other day. Thought it was funny. and quite summed up the debate too. She appeared to be EXACTLY like what this chart tried to portray.

just a brief crap

2008-09-26T20:35:00.003+08:00

The first syawal is approaching. it will be a modest celebration for me it seems. yet i'm not complaining at all. for the first time i could spend the ~~day~~ evening with mon cheri!! yeayy . His schedule is full for that date.so he won't be home until 630 p.m. sigh.
anyway, Bonne fete de l'Eid to all Muslims and whoever that appreciates this date as well. i hope you guys have a blessed ramadhan. i'm not really in the blogging mood right now, so i guess i stop here =)

a video says a zillion words

2008-09-17T14:05:00.004+08:00

Palin Fey

this video is a must-watch !!!

check out the scary resemblance of tina Fey ( the main character in '30 Rock') and Mc Cain's running mate, Sarah Palin. Freaking hard to differentiate the two. another reason why you should watch that video : unbearably HILLARY-ousssss!!!! ( and yes, ' hillary' shared the podium too).
there were certain issues you must be aware of in order to FULLY understand the parody.but i assure you it would still be armpit-tickling funny nonetheless, even if 'democrat and republican' is the only thing you know about the USA. believe me.

watch it watch it watch it!!!!

activist mode

2008-09-16T20:12:00.005+08:00

i am suddenly troubled significantly by the global warming, an issue that has long been discussed with little been done on its course.it sounded lame but indeed i am. i guess the CNN documentary of North pole this morning played a role in awakening my conscience.

how can i not be when the ice thins about 2 metres in less than a year. perhaps it was just at that specific area in north Pole, but still, it sure sounds scary.

i also heard (i was half asleep at this point) the news presenter (in other ocassion) quoting Sarah Palin that 'Global Warming is Not man-made'. huh??

it might be partially true.. we will never know . according to cheri, there is a theory saying that this earth has its own seasonal cycle. apparently we just happen to live while the earth are having its summer time.interesting isn't it. it could be true, or it could be just a decoy plan to compensate and rationalise the wreckage we have done to this planet we are living in.

nevertheless, i still feel men are the main single cause of GW. i now rest my case :p

tuning in

2008-09-12T14:39:00.004+08:00

I am half-heartedly reading the PDF version of Obstetrics Illustrated currently.. just to realise how much i have forgotten. Even those fundamental basics about pregnancy and labour! i'm glad i'm still at home lazing with ~~fun and~~ idle activities.
I must say, mon cheri is somewhat a different man after we got married. Perhaps it's the title and status change.. perhaps he's just getting ~~old~~ more mature. whatever it is, i love this new guy he becomes. Unfortunately for him, i barely change. but the way he handled my silent tantrums has made it difficult for me not to let my heart liquifies , over and over.hoho

L'amour est dans l'air

2008-09-11T15:17:00.007+08:00

here I am, postponing housemanship for two months or more. regret? Non! Love it? oui!
I made it to Versaille Finally. I've had always desired to go there and last week, that dream came true! the hearsays and written discriptions of versaille do not exaggerate of its majestic grandeur even slightest!
Versaille : king of all chateaux ,and bien sur, the residence of The Sun King ; Le Roi Soleil =)

Hall of mirrors : view from the main garden. Even the garden has numerous wings. imagine how many that 51000 metre square castle itself has..

from the outside

2008-08-24T11:44:00.004+08:00

One of the parts I love the most about my wedding is the handmade dipped flowers. Beautifully crafted by 2 aunts in-law of mine. credit to nuni for these lovely shots.

as for this one, not that i like the chandelier so much, i just love the shot from this angle. good job nuni!

Life is glitteringly wonderful for me at this moment. i know it's gonna be hard after a few months; once i commence housemanship, once the distance takes place and all.. mais que serra serra . i chose it to be this way, so be it. whatever it may be.

Liverpool delivered a stunning late performance in last night's match against Boro. Gerrard and caragher were the heroes. Sorry Torres, (for once) it wasn't meant to be your night :p

conferred and married!

2008-08-13T22:24:00.004+08:00

Peace be upon each of you. hello again.

my apology for the super long silence. i've been busy. busy and happy. it is an awkward combination of adjectives there. but that's what best to describe life in this past two months ++.
Praises be to You, dear God.

June 17th 2008 was the last day of my life as an undergraduate medical student. the Final exam went rather smoothly with not much drama except for my unfortunate encounter with that intimidating RCSI professor during my surgical long case. God, he's a nightmare. i quite enjoyed the rest of the exams actually.

July 3rd 2008, mon cheri landed home. yeayyyy.

July 6th 2008, i was conferred with MB BCh BAO (NUI) degree(s) by my college and university; which entitles me to join the medical professional team. i was very happy indeed. my parents, my grandma, and my sister were there, attending the ceremony along with us. too bad cheri and his family couldn't make it. He had to attend his pre-marital course. i wore my mom's Kurung Tenun Pahang Diraja ; the cloth which my mom plans to put in the list of valuable inheritances of our family:P :P it was quite big for me but thanks to the graduation robe, the problem was well taken care of. As much as i was overwhelmed by the scrolls, mortar board, robes, mat saleh bigshots and all, i was quite sad by the end of it as i did not have the chances to part with a handful of my good pals properly.everybody was busy attending their family circles at the foyer.Some were in the high-tea hall, and some just 'vanished' out of my sight.i didn't take much photos too. how i regretted it.. Luckily that wasn't the end of the day. i eventually met cheri and his family later that night. his parents and mine were busy discussing about our marriage while we were 'busy' smiling at each other and cherishing the opportunity of meeting in person after almost a looong 10 months apart.

the rest of July was hectic for me and my family ( and my wedding planner). all sorts of people came to our house. Tuan Qadi, JKR staffs, interior experts, are to name a few. i don't dare (even until today )to ask my parents how much this wedding prep has cost them.. i just pray to Allah that their sacrifice for my sake would worth it. i pray that Allah would help me to repay them as much as they deserve.

July 26th 2008. that was 'the' day. at 10.09pm i am officially wedded to my long-time sweetheart after three attempts. hehe. he wasn't nervous. it was more to the fact that our jurunikah was being fussy and confusing. thanks miey for recording the time for us. two best friends i have to thank the most for my wedding is Ally and Miey. Sorry for troubling both of you for my cause.. you guys have no idea how grateful i am for what you have done. and of course to you too nuni, without you, who else would be my back up photog;-) and i'm sorry that you and zaman had to endure the mud. let it be known that i appreciate greatly that you went through all those 'obstacles' for the sake of our friendship ;-) to coy (and pakcik), please do read the sentence before this as well ;-)
back to the bride and groom story. we only started rehearsing for the next day by +- 11.30pm and finished around 1.00 a.m. . i was starving to death. i still couldn't believe that my status has changed. i was both thrilled and numb. and happy. and hungry. :P

July 27th 2008. Our first reception. i am overwhelmed by the number of people turned up to our humble home. 2500 guests! my only regret was that i couldn't meet and thank a lot of people who mean the world to me that day. there were just too many people to entertain, plus the unfortunate fact that i am notoriously known for not capable of handling hectic scenes smartly. huhu:P my big big apology. to those of whom the invitation did not reach them, i regret dearly. i meant to invite each of you. i have too little time to spare then. my friendster apparently was 'bengong' as well when i sent the invitation to friends' message boxes. i have the feeling that not everyone received my post online.. stupid friendster. believe you me, i didn't purposely leave any of my friends out. i'm true sorry if any of you feel that way.

all, in all it was a very very very memorable day of our lives ; ie my husband's and mine. and i hope it was for many of you who attended it too. thanks for sharing our special day with us. PMC mates, tahapians, SKTL buddies , smkt friends, jasinians............ a BIGGGG thank you from both of us.

we don't really have a proper planning for our future yet, but one thing for sure, we plan to live happily ever after together :-)

I'm yours =)

2008-06-14T16:59:00.003+08:00

there will be two more clinicals to go and i wasted my whole day, doing nothing productive. thank you so much.

take a break, have a franck

2008-05-27T00:44:00.001+08:00

France midfielder Franck Ribery was voted Bundesliga player of the year in a poll of 268 league players published in Kicker newspaper on Monday. - soccernet

congratulation =)

this is it...

2008-05-25T20:45:00.005+08:00

he nailed it! ( finally) .i missed the concert Live show, therefore i surfed for its Youtube clips instead. I was doing some reading when suddenly my stomach gave a flip in response to one of Nubhan's beautiful coloraturas. I quickly opened that particular firefox tab to watch the whole thing again.. and again ( hehe). i'm still gaping in awe at the mo. hhuhuhu. gila lah lagu ni:P

i wanted to write about a lot of things, but i don't really have that much time left to procrastinate further...

Dr Irene predicted that i would become a paediatrician ;-) and yes i see myself either as a physician cardiologist/rheumatologist or a Paediatrician. hmm... sekali GP je ke.. huhuhuhuh

time to study

9 - 19 june 2008 ~ my future depends heavily on my performance at this particular period. Pleaese pray for me. I am plain scared right now. no kidding.. i need support and that's it. no dramas . i cant afford to be deviated from this sole focus. no kidding.

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Now playing: Coldplay - Viva la Vida [foobar2000 v0.9.4.2]
via FoxyTunes

My life in the air ~(^^)~

2008-05-22T22:52:00.005+08:00

It's my annual activity now : watching French movies in cinema ( gsc) in conjunction with Cannes film Festival:)

last year i watched 'mon meilleur ami' and another beautiful epic which title i forgot. This evening, i was in GSC Gurney Plaza once again to watch 'ma vie en l'air'. And it's worth it!!!!

ma vie en l'air (literal translation :my life in the air -its official English title is 'love is in the air' though) was very relaxing yet thoughtful ,spiced with both psychological and comical elements throughout.

oh by the way, one of the main casts was Marion Cotillard; the Oscar winner for Best Actress through La Vie En Rose ( Life in Pink?). Only this time she chose to venture her life through air instead of colour ;) :P err actually La vie en Rose was produced much later. Probably the other way round then:P:P

One thing for sure, French films are VERY different from Hollywood's. You should give it a try. How about Amelie for a start?;-)

au revoir et gros Bisous ( muahx) !

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Now playing: Silverchair - [Diorama #04] accross the night [foobar2000 v0.9.4.2]
via FoxyTunes

chedet MUDAH LUPA ( demented already? )

2008-05-19T17:14:00.004+08:00

mahathir ni memang la saje cari pasal nak kene kutuk.

today he is no longer a member of UMNO.
what are you playing at, old man?
believe you me, he's acting like a joker in our political scene these days. what has he done other than dividing Malaysians into deeper and wider chasm? he wants dolah badawi to step aside. but can you name me just ONE person who you think would be eligible for that number 1 spot from the BN side. just one. who??
Najib? nak berperang ngn monggol ke?( ni satu lagi, just sebab sorg pelacur, huru hara negara. let go lah BA . there are thousands other issues which are more healthy that you can bring up to fight against the BN) . muhidin yasin? renti kan dulu. Ku li? he's a 'has-been'. he hasn't been in the cabinet for 20 light years. after all YOU are the one who brought him down, remember????

Anwar is no longer a BN guy. there's a possibility. tp you dont want him to be in power , do you? at least not while you're still alive. Im sorry to say this, but you'd better just let go. shut up. g masjid. istighfar byk2 atas pe hang da buat puluh puluh taun jadi PM. I've said this before and I'm gonna say it again. Dolah Badawi hasn't introduced anything new to the current government. whatever wrongdoings and loopholes that chars the UMNO's credibility have long been practiced dating back to your reigning era. ( or even before thAt!! ). and YOU did it at a worse scale!!!

i mean yeah, i have always looked at the umno members - be at whatever level - with disdain because i think they are no more than just a bunch of 'empty cans' . but really, for someone as influential as you mahathir, to whine, sulk, and retaliate like a baby, as if you're the hero of the situation.. is just beyond acceptable and it is destructive. Bear in mind, that this is coming from ME, a person who is very cynical about UMNO. for you guys die-hard UMNO devotees... i don't know . if I were you, I'd hate him to bits. well I have... even more minute that bits then :P

giving

2008-05-17T22:58:00.006+08:00

It is better to teach a man how to fish rather than giving him one.

while dining alfresco at the Gurney Drive with my 'library peers' this evening, a beggar with crutches approached our table. I gave him some change i had left in my purse. then he left.
a friend asked why did i do what i did.
' my father said, if they ask, give' i replied.
then another friend came out with the words of wisdom as above.
'very true. however, i am not capable of teaching him how to make money. i don't have time for it, and moreover i just don't know how to do so.the only thing i'm capable of doing at the moment is to give him some.'
after all, part of what you have rightly earned is someone else's. therefore, give it to them. it's theirs:)

diagnoses

2008-05-17T01:11:00.005+08:00

one side of life : constrictive pericarditis

had been encased in a hard fibrosed shell for quite a while that i failed to expand to accommodate adequate useful input.

chronically it has now invaded the inner me that i am unable to pump out any profitable output too. outcome would be fatal if untreated. so please do.

other side of life : mildly anaemic otherwise pretty healthy

supportive treatment and assurance are the management of choice