Friday, November 21, 2014

Surviving confinement alone

l feel persuaded to write on this. My latest postpartum experience differed remarkably from the former two.  Previously I had  full time carers to look after my needs and my newborns'. but this time I had to do it solo. Not to mention I have another two kids to look after.  both my mom and mom in laws are still working. My gran is already too old to care for us. My maid was due for her  3 months term  break around that time. Therefore I pre planned my confinement arrangement 2 - 3 months prior.

1 ) the elder kids

I didn't think I could handle three kids at the same time when i was supposed to recuperate from the delivery aftermath. ( but I have proven I  actually could haha)
So 2 weeks prior to my due date I began my maternity leave.  We enrolled Harris to a nearby preschool 1 week before delivery (on our 7th engagement anniversary to be exact) . we initially planned to send Sarah to a babysitter house who lives opposite ours. but the plan was scrapped off eventually  as Sarah seemed not ready to be sent away  plus (after testing for a day or two post partum)  I was able to look after her after all. hehe. though not easy, but manageable.

2) the part time domestic helper

I did look around for a confinement lady. and didn't find one that tailored to my need and budget. ( RM 3k for a 2 weeks service seemed too much)  but there were still  plan b which I think is better. after all, me being me ,who never condone to the traditional confinement rules, getting a proper confinement lady is quite a waste of money. haha. a helper is what i need. we were lucky to be able to convince a day time maid to stay with  us for 3 nights a week to help us with the house chores. otherwise tongkang pecah la rumah hihi..
she mainly look after the house and sarah. and she was only available after week 3 post delivery.  so prior to that ( except for the  first 2 3 days  when my husband was still around) I was totally on my own.
During these days, mr hubby had abruptly changed to be a very effective housemaid/ chauffeur/ shopper and many other domestic posts. I was both thankful and impressed.  lolz.  but I ve got to say his working efficacy and performance was inversely proportional to mine over time.  mentang2 la bini ni mobile n x brp berpantang. lolz. gradually he left the house chores back to me except for the shopping and the chauffeuring part . lolz. my mom also did come by for a while after work ( if she didnt have any other programmes/duties) helping me tending to the baby, particularly during the first few weeks. alhamdulillah.

3) post partum friendly baby equipments

these are rather important and very very very helpful when you have to care for your baby yourself during the delicate days. General rules post delivery mom shouldn't be bending down or squatting too much ( in fact I believe the pantang hardcore people prohibit this all together until certain period of time)
so we bought these :
a bathtub stand. we had had that white baby support since Harris' time.previously, most of the time my older newborns were bathed by my maid/mom/gran. I would only bathe them myself once in a while and a stool would suffice as an extra helping tool. but  this time, since it s gonna be a twice daily routine, i need the bathtub stand.  so i bought it online   (much cheaper than the ones sold in the local baby outlets)

changing table . bought this during my impromptu solo visit to ikea at 9 months preggie age! everone was concerned and offered to help me with the trolley ,queuing and all (except for the ikea staffs themselves, ironically. at least not until i asked them to help with the loading and unloading) good to see there are still many noble-hearted Malaysians!

the nursing pillow. really a great help too for a more comfortable posture during nursing.

4. confinement gadgets

i may not observe all the malay confinement rules but i did follow some which i think is practical in reshaping your body and skin contour as long as it doesn't involve oral jamu /herbs. 

i used leesa's girdles and body contour gel for postpartum body shaping. the packet with the chinese writing is a mix of chinese herbs i used for a more refreshing hot shower. bought it from my masseuse.  
this is my 'batu tungku'. an electric water pillow that can be heated ( given by my grandma).  during previous confinements i did use the real batu tungku wrapped in some sort of leaves. but that would be a bit too tedious for me to do by myself daily. 

All in all, it was a very challenging but no less wonderful experience for me. i was tired for sure, but it makes me value motherhood more. and allowed me to spend more time with my kids as a mother should be. I owed them this because of work commitment, and  I'm going to have to leave them again for the very same reason. I hope my children would understand.

soon babies.  we'll be chillaxing more. for now, mommy have to strive to become paediatrician first, muah muahx.

1 comment:

Dewi Aja said...

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