Friday, November 14, 2008

My Mr Darcy

you know , i have always thought Mr Darcy in both P&P and Bridget Jones' diary is charming. How I would be smiling dreamily every time i watched or read them. the most recent one being this afternoon- leading me to write about this hehe. but in reality, I am not too sure if I want my husband to have a personality as such. I like the romantic part of it but I don't fancy the excessive pride displayed by Mr Darcy's character - if it was for real. no, my husband is no Mr Darcy in term of self pride. but he is just as reserved, and just as well- composed as Mr Darcy - TO ME. if only he was just as rich :P:P

don't worry hubby, money only matters when you are truly broke :p

I have been in contact with my close friends since i got back from France. It feels wonderful to hear from them. But now I dread to start working. i have heard unfavourable rumours of the hospitals i applied. i really really hope that i would find it otherwise. i don't want to be in that miserable state of depression! I am done with feeling pathetic for myself. i just want to be happy or moderately low at worst. too much to ask for but ask i did. i want to be someone who would not regret what she chose in life. career is definitely one of them. a major one infact... oh hell yeah, let me get lost in my own fairy tale land. a place where we all can live , happilly, ever, after. oh just let me:P

Mr. Darcy: Miss Elizabeth. I have struggled in vain and I can bear it no longer. These past months have been a torment. I came to Rosings with the single object of seeing you... I had to see you. I have fought against my better judgment, my family's expectations, the inferiority of your birth by rank and circumstance. All these things I am willing to put aside and ask you to end my agony.

Elizabeth Bennet: I don't understand.

Mr. Darcy: I love you.

Me : owhhh....

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

quitter Paris pour Pangkor

et je ne reve pas
je sais quand j'arretarai
je vais quitter Paris
je sais apres, je vais payer pour ca
- les limites par Julien Dore -

i sing those lines every 5 minutes. no. every 2!.
so i am called to attend an induction course scheduled at Pangkor Island starting this Monday. Of all places they send me to Pangkor; where i definitely can't drive my car to. sigh.
i hope it'd be fun. it'd better be so.I will probably be starting my internship by 6 December. don't know where yet.the thought does transmit a chill through my spine. let us all hope that i would become a great doctor ; for everyone's benefits ;-)

to Aja and Apis, selamat bersiap dgn aman dan bahagia. jgn stress2 or gabra2. it will be one of the sweetest days in your life. yes, believe me. coz i ve been there n done that. hehe.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

bitte gib mir nur ein wort

c'est le Bon Dieu qui nous fait
et c'est le Bon Dieu qui nous brise
It's the Good God that makes us
and it's the Good God that breaks us

extracted from the song Caravane by Raphael

i met a foreigner at Starbucks the other day. we went there for the same primary reason ; internet access. and surprisingly with a same mission ; to find out the latest result of US presidential election. although i did have another bigger and fatter mission of wanting the internet access so badly; which was to 'buzz' my husband's yahoo messenger in hope that he would wake up to the annoying sounds. because i miss him awfully much. Alas, much to my dismay, his sleep was not disturbed at all by my lousy attempts. i couldn't call him as i am yet to activate the IDD call service. My parents were out of town hence no phones to borrow. i don't like to be in that state of desperation. it's just soo freaking frustrating and nothing i can do about it.

anyway, the mat saleh atuk was, dare i say, poorly literate in IT. Therefore he kindly asked me to establish the internet connection for his computer. Apparently he just bought it 2 weeks ago . he is one of the typical westerners who prefer to spend most of their pension money on traveling around the world. He was so delighted to finally find someone whom he can discuss international politic with. hahahah. talk about bumping into the right person :p no, I'm not good at it but i sure like to talk about such things.

a mon mari cheri,

my life is much more meaningful now than it was ever before. i look forward to spend eternity with you. i miss you terribly yet i'm at ease and feeling very secured and fortunate to finally be married to you. am grateful on being officially yours. voici, j'ai mon coeur ancre dans ton coeur ;X hope i french it right again ;)

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

the parting

i have landed home safely - with mixed feeling of sadness, grateful, love, loss, and sadness again.

God knows how hard it was to leave my husband. leaving on a jet plane lyric fitted the situation at that moment like a glove. it happened exactly like the song narrates, except for 'taxi blowing its honk' part. i can't describe how wonderful a husband he is. je t'aime tellement. he asked me to remember happier moments when i think of him, and I'm doing just that. till we meet again chouchou.

we went to visit the other side of my family 1 week before i left. i am glad we did. everyone was very happy and we had too much of a great time that left a great impact when we parted. i miss them very much.

predictably, my tears streamed down frequently during my journey back, at the airports, in the planes ( it took three planes for me to get to kuantan). but i have regained my composure now. i haven't cried at all since i got into the taxi heading home. i am more composed than i thought i would be. good for me.

mon frere : when will abg N come back?

Moi : Next year.

mon frere : When? January?

Moi : probably June or July i guess.

mon frere : uish. that's gonna be quite a while.

Moi : i know.