me or them?

After going through one long torturous week (definitely the worst this year) plus several stressful, head spinning weeks before that, my life is getting back into place..thank God. still, the impact of abnormalities (which it successfully created) is still there, very hard to get rid off it seems (more resistant than that die hard MRSA!!) for instance, my sleeping clock is still dreadfully haywire - i'm officially imsomniac. Not to mention my eating patterns - disturbed (psychologically) even more badly than the endocarditis of staph. aureus origin! (i really cant think of other analogues hehe - why not put that into the lists of my exam's aftermath as well?)
in short, i am challenged in every sort of ways. for real i felt so hopeless.i felt like i was the most unfortunate person alive at the moment. But God doesnt seem to agree with me. On the way back home right after the last paper, He proved that i was dead wrong.

i happened to sit in front of two young kids in the bus. they were makin some noises (just for the record, i didnt get annoyed yeah) it was only after quite sometimes that i realised one of them wasnt just an ordinary kid - he was a privilleged boy - with impaired hearing and speech(he also wore thick glasses, which meant he was - to some degrees- visually challenged too. he was having difficulty telling his mum what he wanted.then he started crying. at that point, i really felt ( n still feel) sorry for him and began to curse myself for being so oblivious and self-centred. what i had gone through was almost nothing compared to what that little boy ought to endure now and for the rest of his life. stigma.inferiority complex.sense of incapability..and perhaps a lot more..

then, a vision of a homeless man that i chanced upon in Paris floated into mind. he was lying on the sidewalk, desperately reaching for the hot air streaming upwards from the metro underground's heating system... struggling with the cruelly cold paris weather and starvation. looking at his condition, he must be struggling for survival too.he was all wrecked! he had no fortune at all! but i, i am blessed with so much more. yet i am still complaining. still thinking no one has ever felt as down as i had. how can that be??!

i may not be completely wrong in a way. come to think of it, God tests people in many different (n sumtimes unexpectedly weird) ways. the two fellas i mentioned before were tested with physically limiting conditions. as for me (and for most of us i think), it is more psychological..
in a 'manner' of modern speaking, it is 'hell' (wonder where's the manner there -lol).. but it is better - and for that i guess we should be grateful. no matter how 'lost' we feel, there are always millions who are 'meeting dead ends' much worse than we do. -ehem, so now do i sound like a therapist?? :p - didnt intend to hhehe

oh by the way, having crapped all the above, it reminds me one of the quranic verses saying more or less (God forgive me if im wrong) :

'..No soul shall be burdened with what is greater than it can bear..' (2;233)

that's gotta inspire you! - now im a motivator eh?? :p :p

this seems to be a good blog entry after all..huhu.. erk (do keep in mind, s'il te plait ) im not good enough though =l