why i don't like it much for now?
well, first of all i hate being bossed around - i don't mind specialists - but i hate unnecessary orders by the seniors ( especially if they are just the budding ones - mengade nak mampus) and utterly hate it when it comes from the nurses. man i hate that. i love my current head of department. she's like an angel seriously. a very rare quality for a Malaysian specialist ( who thinks superiority is compulsory to be displayed in every possible channels they could think of- an attitude that rarely worn by the mat saleh
secondly, the on-calls. i don't appreciate a series of disturbed sleeps let alone sleepless nights! what even bothers me is how frequent they are. My husband did voice his concern that i wont be around much for him considering numerous monthly on-call nights. we haven't been staying together yet since i started my housemanship. so i honestly don't know how exactly it's gonna be.but i seriously want to work it up to maximise my time with him - if it be within my power. in a way i am very delihgted with the outpouring of new housemen we are currently experiencing- less burden and hopefully less on-calls! ( less calls equals to less extra allowances but then again i am not willing to sacrifice the 3 quarters of my time for the sake of the job. i need time for family and for myself - a right that is deliberately overlooked by the current system.) stop complaining why freshly graduated docs prefer to work oversea : other than the pay, it's the system! doc's welfare are much better taken care of. u know what's the standard line our superiors always like to remind us? we've been through hell and so should you. and oh this is the best part - coming from a deputy state health director during my induction course : a fellow houseman raised a question ; what is the channel for us to voice out our disapproval had we been ill-treated by the superiors. you wanna know what his answer was? - i swear i couldn't believe my ears- ; there is none. just deal with it - very evil-sounded yet the most honest answer i have ever heard.
so far my defense mechanism still works in an acceptable range though it has been edgy many many times :$ :$.. but the best one came from a psychiatrist (no, surprisingly i'm still sane. i met her during a general meeting, not a session :P ). i really now hold on to that to survive work : she said - just remember that everytime you attend to and treat a patient, you will be rewarded big time by the Almighty- even by just smiling at them.
they keep reminding us to work sincerely as well, which i fully agree. but they need to understand that being sincere and being overworked is two different situations. to be sincere is my duty but to get a proper time off is my right!
there you have it.
lucky enough to attend the eiffel tower's 120 years celebration. they cracked a total of 15 thousands fireworks for the event and it was a pure genius and brilliant set of fireworks! like a toddler behind us exclaimed; c'est beau!!! i was suffocating in the sea of people but totally forgot about the hypoxic breathing once the show began. to my beau, merci bien. i hurt you a lot i know, but you are the best thing i have ever had. there are loads of sacrifice you made on my course and i want you to know i acknowledge and appreciate every one of them. i love you and can't wait to have you home!!! baby i love you;X
