un macaron presque parfait

mesdames et messieurs, voila! my first baked macaron. this was my 2nd try. the first attempt was last year which eventually turned into a cake.  tastewise, the almond flavour were too strong, would prefer it to be more chocolate-ish. next holiday nak cuba lagik.

oh, walaupun agak x berpuas hati dgn macaron ini, tp rase bersemangat balik bila hubby ckp sedap . hohoho

les macarons de france

hari ini bercita2 nak baking. lbih bersemangat lpas tgk MC aussie london edition!:D  bonne chance a moi!

777

today marks the 4th year of our engagement anniversary. Up and down together, only to nurture a more solid relationship day by day. thank you for being the loving husband and father as you are now ;X;X

bored

i feel like watching a french film. but I have none downloaded at the moment.

i don't like oncall during weekend. sigh :(

The day Red Rose met Snow White

Princess Rouge Babylone and Princess Blanc Banquise

opening the coupe

Went for a car detailing service yesterday and (for a second time) I saw a Bianca White 308 coupe cabriolet! this time in a  much closer range, in fact I got to touch it! hahaha jakun jap:D 

Royal Weekend

Congratulation Prince William. The wedding was epical.  ternganga tengok :D

Amis

I thought losing a friendship was quite manageable. well it is manageable. but I cannot forever hold back this one big inner thought that is screaming to know the reason WHY?


By the way, Happy birthaday Aja ! My April born colleague ;-)  No, my friendship with Aja is still steel-hard intact :D

harris et maher zain 2.0

coming to term

I don't know about you, but I only began to feel like a full grown adult after I started buying properties. I still felt young when i first get married, feeling a bit more mature after I found out I was pregnant, motherly after Harris was born, but still more or less clinging to parents / other family members. but now, as we began to deal with those people like sales advisers, corporate lawyers, bankers and stuff - on our own... , I can't help but feeling.. nervous, whenever I have time to think deeply about it.  I am becoming the adult that  I previously, only observed. Now , I am one of them.

I really really hope both me and husband could be  great parents to Harris ( and hopefully his later siblings ).

no turning back. we are adults now.

gwyneth go gleek

you know I was no longer liking glee due to overstrecthed gay and jew highlights.. but then they invited gwyneth to their show.. i love this version so much. u hit it right gwyn!

to be and to live

Salut a tout!


liking my new banner? hehe. I like it ofcourse. kind of bored with the old one.

Old

 

nouvelle!

liverpool. they have reboost my liking for them for the following reasons :

• new coach 
• entertaining and superb performance by the newbies - louis suarez and andy caroll
• they beat Chelsea and Torres on his debut game for chelsea and against former club:D
• They BEAT Man U with a hatrick! :D:D
• The have replaced Carlsberg with Standard Chartered!! :D:D:D

boleh la beli kan harris official jersey.

Breastfeeding.

My body is very textbook physiological speaking. at least for pre and post delivery changes. textbook says contraception via exclusive breastfeeding is only effective up to  6 months, and true enough, my ovulation cycle restarted at 6 months post delivery- the last being when I conceived Harris of course. kinda miss the menstruation free days.
Alhamdulillah, up to now Harris has never had to taste any formula milk , even after weaning.
talk about food , menu du jour for harris would be... Apple puree with milked mashed potato!

bonded love

lately harris is soo 'manja' with me. there are times when he would only be queitened by me. not that i'm complaining, i'm touched in a way to see that he has bonded well with me, but considering the nature of my job, we cannot afford such circumstance. while locuming last night, my hubby had to bring him to the clinic as he was inconsolable. and by the time he came, i had like half a dozen of patients waiting for me. poor my little child.


patient : anak dokter ke nangis kat luar tu? siannye

me: err...

Dinner at my place!

I hosted an 'end of posting' dinner on the 2nd March 2011 at chez moi. it was awesome.
My leave started on that day, therefore i began the morning quite late, geting cozy with harris in bed till 9 am hehe. by 10 o'clock, I went to the market with grand-mere, buying quite a lot of stuffs. damn, the 2 kg meat loaf costs me a whopping 46 ringgit! i never knew it was that expensive ! ( as i never bother to do grocery-shopping at wet market for the last two years :D ), so along with that, we bought 6 whole chickens, vegies and spices. by 12.30 pm, we started cooking. the menus and work assignments are as follows :

• grandmother recipe of buttered rice - obviously by my grandma
• chicken with red chile sauce ( ayam masak merah la tu) - by grandma and maid
• paprik-style vegies - by maid
• vanilla muffin - by auntie
• cottage pie - by me!!
• chicken and beef satay  - ordered from pak cik din :)

the rice was delicious!the cottage pie as expected, was way below par compared to the rice tastefulness quality but edible anyway haha.

My cottage pie was next to the muffin, not within the captured scene ;)

Many of my close friends came and was so touched as some of them came from as far as chini, lipis and sungai tekam for the sake of honouring my invitation! one very good pal even swapped on-call that day so he could join us.  two  surgeons - whom i lookep up to very dearly- were also among the attendees eventhough they had to go through pouring rain to get here. no words can describe how thankful and touched I am.

Harris was the centre of attention that night.  everybody was taking turn holding him:D when Harris was held by  one of surgeons, I ( automatically) whispered to myself : May you be a succesful surgeon like him one day, my child =)

for my surgical colleagues, thank you for making me feel very welcomed while I was there. I truly enjoyed working as part of the team. We have a great set of comitted surgeons, dedicated MOs and  (some) reliable housemen :) I don't mind prolonging my stay there actually, but need to move on with what I decided to pursue.Inshallah the friendship would remain :)

* now trying to picture Harris as a surgeon .. hmmmm :D

brand new year

life feels a bit brand new these days. i guess i would just keep it to myself as for the reason why.

My placement has been confirmed. Behold! I am entering Paediatric department by March 7, 2011 as a full fledged medical officer :)  I received  my full registration and APC as early as when I first joined surgical team actually but still need to complete my last posting as a house officer. anyway I did ( n still do) a medical officer job and calls there all the same.

May Allah guide my every decision and would not left me deserted.

time to read  again!(after a long long time).

now.. when will i get my UD44 pay? huhuhu.

in limbo

I'm in a dilemma.
Do I really want to join the Paed team? I don't know. A lot of things have been circling in my mind lately.
one thing I'm sure of, I'm more of a medically-orientated person rather than surgical. For instance, when I attended to a case with multiple morbidities, I tend to highlight more on the patient's medical maladies rather than his/her clear cut  and simple surgical problem.
I loved paediatric. or so I thought when I was there. but now, after being blessed with my own child, I have new issue to deal with. Maternal instinct. I don't know if I can bear poking babies 10 to 20 times for lines, wether I can bear watching them succumb to their illnesses, hearing them cries with no mothers by their side to calm them, to not feed them orally for days or weeks or even months.. they are so fragile and weak.. yet they have to endure all the sufferings that they themselves are too young to understand.

these are not acts of cruelty. in fact, what we are doing -  i dare say- is very nobel. The only problem is, I have to see them suffer in order to see them get better ( if the ever do). I'm feeling so miserable just because of this uncertainty. God help me.

Another dilemma is.. my husband feels it is time for me to apply for transfer, so that we can live together. I am looking forward to it.The buts are :

1. who is going to look after Harris. yes we have maid. but at present time, we enjoy the privillege of having my grandparents' supervision - who actually take care of our son more than the maid does. I'm yet to trust her handling Harris alone. probably a cctv would solve this problem.:D
2. Paed department of that particular hospital has always been 'credited' as the most horrible department to be at. it s gonna be like walking myself into a lions' den in a zoo full of reptiles.
3. I am not ruling out Health Clinic. It would be a bonus to me and my family in term of quality time. and I can study for MRCPch. however, there would  be no more oncall claim  then,of which at the moment contributing quite a significant amount to my monthly income.

God help me.

it's been almost 8 years since I began to share love and feelings with my then boyfriend-turn- husband. quite a journey really. it's been both a  rollercoaster ride and a really slow it's-a-small-world ride for us. despite the seemingly endless rants and bickerings over the tiniest of things, we always end up having each other's back at the end of the day. we sulk during the day , by night time we cuddled and make fun of each other's childish act. it sort of gets less and less romantic over time as we have truly known each other in and out of every titbit. but it does bring our relationship to a greater level of trust and love. He completes me and I hope, I him.  Thank you Allah for  blessing me with such a loving and loyal husband with whom I share a very lovely son ( and more to come!)  . I love my two boys.

Ya Allah, guide us towards Your path.

Give me strength to get through this..

May the brighter days await.

roarrrr

lalalala..

The Domino effect

I am astonished. the abrupt onset of people's revolution in Middle east has both amazed and scared me. amazed to see that they finally find the courage to act against dictators ( and also by the dictators' ridiculous, stubborn  and desperate acts in order to cling to a thread of power), but scared by the burgeoning number of people who perceive this as an oppurtunity to break laws and  to act inhumane.

I just hope they would restabilise their countries very quickly before those zionists and their allies intervene and ruin yet another historically majestic countries as the did in Iraq.

By the way, to learn that the very incident that triggered all these happened in a place that i have been to ( sidi bousaid )  is quite .. eerie.

May Allah be with us..

u shall-see

taken from soccernet

Wrong move nando, very very wrong.  ....!!!!

My personal experience

Breastfeeding benefit from my personal experience :

1. a  huge contributing factor for a healthy and chubby baby I am granted with currently.
2. even though my baby was born with a low birth weight, his weight pick up exponentially after birth, surpassing many of his baby collesague, even those who have already aged 8 - 9 months.
3. mommy lose weight incredibly too! no jamu, not much exercise but may be hectic oncalls are to blame too. i weigh lighter than my pre-pregancy days :D
4. the physiological changes I endured during pregnancy have gradually dissapearing.e.g. hyperpigmentation is getting much lighter just as before :) it has gone back to normal now. luckilly no stretch marks.
5. satisfied feeling seeing bottles of breastmilk filling in the top compartment of the freezer :)
6. money saving! no need to buy those expensive powdered formula milk.
7. effective contraception. baby is 5 months old and Im still menstruation free. expected to last up to 6 months. we'll see ;-) 

I hope I could continue to breastfeed Harris for 2 years. Btw, Harris got his 5 month old  jab yesterday and he did not even cringe let alone cry when poked! kuat anak mama nyh ;p

Harris milkstock. Used to be more.. but because of frequent busy calls, it has depleted :(

weekend is here but no, i haven't weaned him :p

Should I , Should I not.

Should I wean Harris to Solid now? He's only five months old yea but he seems ready and he weighs incredibly too. I think he has probably weighed about 8 kilos by now ( wanna bet?-  am going to the KK for 5 month old appointment next week inshaallah.)
furthermore his milkstock is ain't that much now =( going to be oncall tomorrow, hopefully the milk can last till evening next day. sigh. 
Bought Harris a bottle and food warmer via online. loving it, though my granny said it is a just a waste of money as she doesn't favour it that much ;p
may be, just may be, I'll feed Harris with mashed milked potato next week. ha! =D

the once in a blue moon chef

lately i have been following the masterchef series quite frequently. in consequence , prompted me to sort of make a dish yesterday evening. something which can be considered 'extraordinaire' in my daily routine. sorry hunny, for the cooking mode came while you were out station ;p

i wanted to make something that involved white sauce in the menu. something simple. therefore i chose to make a creamed potato and corn dish. it was a bit experimental as this was my first time trying to make white sauce form scratch and well ,, it works! the sauce tasted better than the canned one. hmm now that i have my own signature recepi for a white sauce.. lasagna would be next!

why oh why..

i don't understand why  this toad-faced umbridge look-alike is getting all these  titles when it is an unspoken but publicly known and accepted fact that she is the LEAST likable lady in malaysia.

tak paham betul aku.

Little France

we brought Harris to Colmar Tropicale, Alsace,France Bukit Tinggi Last tuesday. (Public hols honouring first of Muharram - new year in Islamic calendar).

This is Harris' second time in Bukit Tinggi. the first being while he was still our in-utero child :p Harris as usual showed no signs of enthusiasm about the place unlike his parents. La belle indifference! :p and coincidentally we met our friend and his family who also studied in Nancy last time. Of all places!

Ginger houses

I miss France. huhu.

post call

survived my first oncall after a loong break. let's see my list of admission and referral. started off as early as 900 am and went on until 3.00 am before i can finally dozed off. i don't have too many admissions but the referral were mostly critical and major cases. 1 dissecting aneurysm of abdominal aorta, 3 upper GI bleed, 3 intracranial bleed and the rest were minor cases. three deaths out of the total of 14 referrals. 1 died in district hospital ( i was waiting for the case since 11 am and only found out by 1 am the next morning that the patient had passed away), 1 died in casualty and one in the ward. what a day ( and night!) right?

 jonas brothers sungguh.


was so eager to go back to meet my little Harris the next morning.